Gourmet-Inclusive

The food here at the resort is excellent! It’s gourmet-inclusive which means guests don’t have to worry about prices for food, drinks (including alcohol) and activities.

AZUL BLUE HOTEL + SPA

In Tulum I'm staying at the brand new, luxury, gourmet-inclusive:

AZUL BLUE HOTEL + SPA. Check it out

Tulum Ruins

From the Cancun airport I drove 90 minutes south to Tulum, Mexico. Tulum is famous for its Mayan Ruins which I visited yesterday (pictured). What’s amazing about these ruins is that they are (so I’m told) the only ones built on the water. They are beautiful but crowded. To avoid the crowds arrive right when they open at 8am (they close at 5pm). Worst day to visit is on a Sunday because the 45 Pesos ($4) entrance fee is waived and it’s packed with locals and tourists.

WHERE I REALLY AM AT THE MOMENT

Okay, I’m going to start blogging for real now -- so no more posts of past trips (except in our weekly newsletter). Yesterday, I flew down to Cancun on Alaska Airlines from L.A. Flight time was only 4:30 minutes and I somehow got upgraded to First Class. The food was pretty good, as well as the service - they handed out DigE Players and I watched “Little Miss Sunshine”.

FOOD ON THE PLANE

The seats also come with a gigantic table. If I was traveling with a friend, she could dine across from me on my buddy seat (normally the foot stool). Instead I used that space for my laptop, which I plugged into an electrical outlet so I could work offline as long as I wanted. This leg of the flight offered some of the best airline service I have ever had. Not only did they fill my glass constantly, but when I finished any of my many food courses it was immediately picked up too. All of this was done without feeling rushed, watched and being addressed as Mr. DiScala (my real name) every time. I should mention the food. I started with chicken/beef satays, a mixed green salad, cheese-filled cannelloni, fresh fruit and tiramisu. It was all delicious! This was definitely not your typical airline food -- but then again, I was not in your typical first class cabin either.

FLIGHT ATTENDANTS

To top it off I was waited on hand and foot by the friendly and very attentive flight attendants, who kept bringing me more food and drink. I have never drunk so much water in four hours in my life. Every time I finished the tall crystal glass of aqua, she came by (often without me noticing) and filled it up again. It almost became a game. I also have never used an airplane restroom so much in that short time span. BTW: The first-class bathroom was one of (if not the) nicest I have ever seen. It had wood paneling, full-length mirrors, fresh flowers and L’Occitane soap.

MY BIG PHAT SEAT

There were 10 pod-like capsule seats with plenty of space in between. Only two of the other seats were taken, making it even more spacious. My private seat was along the window, with 81 inches of pitch. When passengers slide the seat into a 6-foot, 6-inch flat bed and drop the armrest, there’s 25 inches of width. How’s that for comfort? The first leg of the flight was only 4 hours and 15 minutes, so I did not sleep. I was too excited and busy, flipping through the endless entertainment channels that were displayed on a 15- inch touch screen monitor. There were 39 on-demand movies, from recent blockbusters to classics; 100 TV shows (including many American favorites); 55 video games, and 200 CDs (from which passengers pick their favorite songs, to make a personalized play list). There was also a live tracking system, which invited me to play with the remote-controlled window shades so I could enjoy the view outside.

KUALA LUMPUR TO TAIPEI

Of course, I spent too much time in the lounge. I was running so late, I needed a buggy complete with flashing lights and that annoying beeping noise to rush me to the plane. Like every passenger, I had to go through a secondary screening again at the gate (it was thorough, and comforting). Then I was escorted onto the aircraft. My earlier Malaysia Airlines flight from Stockholm to KL (here’s the link) was a Boeing 777 with only business and economy class cabins. There was no first class, so I had no idea what to expect. When I made the always-cherished left turn through the door, I was thinking, "BABY! This will be awesome!" And I wasn’t even referring to the hot flight attendant waiting there with a hot towel.

MALAYSIA AIRLINES GOLDEN LOUNGE

I took the 28-minute KLIA express train to the airport (35RM [$10]), went through security in 2 minutes, and made my way to Malaysia Airlines’ Golden Lounge. This is for sure the largest (43,284 square feet) airport lounge I have ever been in, and one of the plushest. It features Moorish and local architecture, with separate seating for business and first class passengers. Both areas have plenty of food choices. There’s your typical lounge snacks and open bar -- but this one also had an American breakfast, noodle bar, free wireless, showers, a massage room, a kids’ place -- even a putting green.

BAGS WRAPPED

I spent my last night in Malaysia at the JW Marriott in Kuala Lumpur (here’s the link to that review). In the morning I took a 10-minute ride to the Sentral Train Station, where I checked in for my flight (and checked my bags all the way through to Los Angeles). Because I bought so many gifts, and wanted to add one more layer of protection, I had my bags wrapped in plastic by one of those neat machines you see in many airports. In Europe it usually costs 7 euros; in New York it’s $8 -- but in Malaysia it was just 7RM ($1.98). Boy, it’s gonna be tough to go home and get used to paying top dollar for almost everything (huge sigh). (NOTE: I did not check anything of real value).

Cameron Highlands VIDEO

Here’s a 3-minute Johnny Jet Video of my trip to Cameron Highlands. It's also on YouTube, so it takes only a few seconds to load (though the quality is not as crisp). We also have all the JohnnyJet Videos ever made on their servers.

BUTTERFLY FARMS

The last place my friends and I visited was one of the two butterfly farms. It cost only 5 RM ($1.40) for adults, and visitors see a whole lot more than just the hundreds of butterflies flittering around the greenhouse. They were so beautiful, but they live for only four to five days. However, the highlight of our visit was not the butterflies. It came when one of the workers showed us around the other part of the farm, where there are cages of other unusual insects and reptiles. I stayed far away from the poisonous snakes, but in the cages next to them the worker kept taking out crazy creatures like scorpions and walking leaves (Phyllium bioculatum). He put them in our hands before we could even say "no thank you." The funniest part -- which you have to see in the video (below) -- was when he put the funkiest looking frog on my friend’s arm. I just happened to have the camera rolling. Click here to see the 30-second clip of our special trip to the butterfly farm. (There is another 2-minute video below of this week’s trip.) VIDEOHere’s a 3-minute Johnny Jet Video of my trip to Cameron Highlands. It's also on YouTube, so it takes only a few seconds to load (though the quality is not as crisp). We also have all the JohnnyJet Videos ever made on their servers.

THE MOSSY FOREST

We then went on a short (20 minute) trek through part of a 200,000-year-old mossy forest. That was something! Part of the time we were walking on huge, thick tree braches. If we ventured too close to the edge, it would have been bye-bye. The forest was damp, dark and exotic, with deep jade green colors and the soothing sounds of cicadas and birds. I didn’t see any wild animals, because not many live this high up. Fortunately I did not run into the ones that do live there: cobras and pit vipers.

GUNUNG BRINCHANG TRAILS

From there he drove us to the Gunung Brinchang Trails to see what normally is a spectacular panoramic view from the highest peak in the Highlands (6,666 feet above sea level). It was cloudy, but that didn’t stop me from climbing five flights of the steep, rusty lookout tower to get the absolute highest vantage point.

HIRING A LOCAL GUIDE

The hotel hired us a guide for half a day. His name was Ahmad Zamri, but he goes by Bob. If you deal directly through him (tel.: 013-460-5631) he charges only 70RM ($20) -- much cheaper than what the hotel charges. The rate is not based on per person, but even if it were it would be well worth the price. Practically anywhere else the price of a guide would be 10 times that. He even picks you up in his own van. Bob was a fun, knowledgeable guy (and he’s the one who took us to the Boh Tea Factory).

VISIT TO A TEA FACTORY

No trip to Cameron Highlands -- Malaysia's largest tea-producing region -- would be complete without visiting at least one tea plantation. We drove 45 minutes to the Boh Tea Plantation. It was founded in 1929 by John Archibald Russell, the son of a British officer. Boh Tea, the first to be founded here, is supposedly the biggest tea plantation in Southeast Asia. The highlight is actually the drive. You climb higher and higher, up the narrow, windy mountain roads. With every turn the scenery became more spectacular. The lush green hills, neatly lined with row after row of tea bushes, was unforgettable. At the Boh Tea estate, guests get a free tour of the working factory. The owners realize once you’ve traveled that far, there is a slim chance you won’t buy anything from their large gift shop. I brought home 20 boxes of a wide variety of their teas. It was all inexpensive, including Gold Label -- their finest. TIP: Don’t go on a weekend –the traffic is insane.

BUDDHIST TEMPLE

A short distance away in Brinchang is the beautiful Sam Poh Chinese Buddhist temple. It’s free to visit – including going inside. The attendant watching the door was very friendly, although he did not speak a lick of English. He gave each of my friends a little book about Buddhism, and showed us around – including where and how to place and light the incense sticks (a batch of 12 cost 3RM [84 cents]). Don’t quote me on this, but I believe you light three sticks at a time for each prayer stand. Then you are supposed to bow three times, toward each corner. It was hard to understand, because I don’t speak Chinese. All I know is, I’m glad I visited this colorful, peaceful temple.

STRAWBERRY PICKING

Near the night market are strawberry farms, where visitors can pick their own strawberries. It cost only 5RM ($1.40) per person, which I think included the one kilo of strawberries that I took back to the hotel. Is that ridiculous or what?! Thousands of ripe strawberries just waited to be picked, in the huge warm greenhouse. At first I thought it was kind of a bummer that the strawberry picking I had heard so much about did not take place out in the fields. However, there were no snakes, and the workers are very friendly.

NIGHT MARKET

Just a mile down the road from the hotel is the night market (Pasar Malam). It takes place every Friday and Saturday, from 6:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. Street vendors set up little stalls with a wide variety of souvenirs (I bought a fridge magnet for under $1). They also sell plenty of tea, honey, honeycomb, vegetables, fruits (especially strawberries), flowers and street food. While table hopping I ran into the girls from the hotel spa, who insisted I try the sweet corn on the cob. It was delicious and inexpensive – and so were the peanut pancakes.

MY SPA TREATMENT

Being the man that I am, I had a traditional male treatment called Tok Batin. It takes three hours, and costs RM600 ($169). After taking off my clothes, I dove into a hot tea bath in an old-fashioned tub, where I soaked for 30 minutes. The attendant brought over a tray filled with kaffir limes and sugar crystals. Both were to be rubbed on my elbows. There was also a dish of ground-up tea leaves to rub on my face, a glass of iced tea and a refreshing towel. After doing my rubbing chores I was given a pillow, tea bags for my eyes and noise reduction headphones. I laid back and listened to soothing music. After 30 minutes I was escorted to the chill room, where the therapist placed a heated, heart-shaped rice bag on my chest. I waited patiently until my masseuse came to get me. Once in the massage room she handed me some paper underwear. Yes! I got to wear these things one last time (here’s a picture of how stylish they looked on me). It didn’t matter how uncomfortable they were, because my treatment was that good. It began with hot towels on my feet, then progressed to the best body scrub ever (not that I get very many). The main ingredient was – you guessed it -- crushed tea leaves. They did a fantastic job of removing all my dead skin. She then wrapped me completely in warm towels, as if I was a mummy. As I lay there with only my head exposed, she gave me a head massage. She then put me in a portable steamer. The last step was a shower. I didn’t want to leave, so I took my sweet time sipping hot tea and eating biscuits with different jams. I am now officially spoiled.

HOTEL SPA

Most guests who stay at the resort get a spa treatment – and so should you. At the very least, take one of the tea baths. Treatments at Spa Village Cameron Highlands feature healing therapies based on produce from the surrounding jungle, and ancient tea rituals. There are six treatment rooms, four tea bath rooms and two outdoor cabanas. In Asia, bathing rituals are an important part of physical as well as spiritual cleansing. What’s great is that before each treatment, every guest has a tea bath. These are supposed to relieve stress, refresh the skin and slow down the aging process. Women can take either a yellow rose tea, Cameron’s mint, strawberry or chrysanthemum flower bath. There are similar-sounding names for body scrubs and massages.

CAMERON HIGHLANDS ACTIVITIES

There are plenty of activities to keep guests busy, but many people come there just to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city (most come from Kuala Lumpur or nearby Singapore). This is a perfect place to relax, read a book or play golf. The 18-hole golf course across the street is public, and on weekdays costs only 56RM ($15). I didn’t feel like swinging clubs or using the hotel gym, so I just took a 45-minute walk around the golf course. Talk about being lazy! The course looked nice, and along the way I stumbled across a hotel called Ye Olde Smokehouse. If someone hit me over the head and I woke up on their doorstep, I would swear I was in England. Even without the red telephone booth out front, from the moment you step into this hotel – your nose and eyes make you think England, not Malaysia. However, I’d much rather stay at the Cameron Highlands Resort!

DINING AT THE RESORT

Unfortunately, dining at the hotel did not compare to the tea. The food was okay, but nothing to rave about -- and I dined in every restaurant. I’m not a sushi or sashimi fan, so I didn’t appreciate Gonbei, the traditional Japanese restaurant located just four steps from my door. I loved the open-air design and colors, and they did serve some tasty tempura -- but you can get that anywhere. The Dining Room, which overlooks the golf course and is the other restaurant that serves dinner, has a wide variety of dishes, from local specialties to international cuisine. Breakfast is also served in the dining room, which is very elegant. I felt like I slob when I walked in with shorts on (though it’s totally acceptable during the day). Breakfast is not a buffet. The menu included a nice selection of fruits, pastries, cereal, yogurt, eggs, waffles, pancakes and local treats like chicken curry. In the Jim Thompson Tea Room a traditional luncheon English roast is served once a week. This large buffet has all the English delicacies, like shepherd’s pie and Yorkshire pudding. When there is no lunch buffet they offer a menu with a number of salads, soups, even burgers. Nightly rates begin at 700 RM ($197). Cameron Highlands Resort, 72, Pekeliling Tun Abdul Razak, 39 Tanah Rata, Cameron Highlands, Pahang Darul Makmur, Malaysia; tel.: 011-60-5-491-1100.

TEA TIME

JIM THOMPSON
Two of the hotel’s three restaurants are downstairs near the lobby. There is also a bar there with a snooker table, and a fancy boutique shop just over a koi pond. The shop is called Jim Thompson, and features fashionable silk goods that its namesake was famous for exporting. To learn more about this legendary Chicago native who mysteriously disappeared, click here.

TEA TIME
One of the highlights of my three nights at this hotel was tea in the Jim Thompson Tea Room. At first I just thought it was neat that they kept the English tradition alive. After I ordered one of their wide selection of teas (many are locally grown; others are imported), out came a three-tier tray filled with English scones, pastries and finger sandwiches. But the bottom plate included regional treats, like egg rolls and dumplings. There was also homemade orange, grape and strawberry jam. There are strawberry fields all around, so dessert was a bowl of fresh-picked bright red voluptuous strawberries. They came with three kinds of dip (chocolate, fresh whipped cream and custard). This was far better than anything I’ve ever had in England. And the best part: It cost a quarter of the price (40RM [$10]). Tea time alone is worth coming to this hotel -- I’m not joking!

MY ROOM

The resort has 56 rooms and suites. Each room is spacious, with an elegant colonial design. My very comfortable room featured a cozy four-poster king bed, a flat screen TV (with satellite), telephone, mini-bar, coffee/tea machine and hairdryer. A balcony overlooked the golf course across the street. It was a joy to sit out there, marvel at all the pine trees and realize: This is Malaysia. The bathroom had black and white marble floors and the water pressure was just the way I like it: nice and firm. My only complaint about the room -- and I found this in all five of the hotels I stayed in in Malaysia was that the walls were thin. So in case you have loud neighbors (which I highly doubt), bring earplugs. It also would have been nice if the wireless internet reached the room, but I was grateful they had it at all (in the lobby), and that it was free. FYI: They are two computers for guests to use for free.

CAMERON HIGHLANDS RESORT

The Cameron Highlands Resort, just a few minutes from the town of Brinchang, is exclusive -- the only 5-star property in Cameron. But what shocked me most is that it’s only 40 feet from the busy main roadway. To my dismay there were no tea plantations to be seen. But when I learned they were just around the corner I relaxed, and came to enjoy the hotel’s hospitality. The Cameron Highlands Resort is an elegant traditional property. Had it not been for the Asians working there, I would have thought I was in England. The service is excellent. You notice it the moment you check in, when guests are offered hot chrysanthemum tea and a warm towel.

CAMERON HIGHLANDS

The Cameron Highlands are the highest area of mainland Malaysia. At 5,000 feet above sea level, the temperatures are quite cool year-round. They rarely go higher than 77° F (25°C) or lower than 50° (10°C). At night I wore a light jacket. William Cameron, a Scottish colonial surveyor, came upon the plateau in 1885 during a mapping expedition. Yet he did not mark his discovery, so it was not developed into a resort until 1925, by Sir George Maxwell. During the colonial era the popularity of Cameron (as the locals call it) grew, when British expatriates came there to escape the lowland heat. Soon after, British planters realized that the fertile mountain slopes would be perfect for growing tea, which back then was a highly valued commodity. As you will soon read (and see), the Cameron Highlands are still home to many tea plantations -- and much more. For more background info, including the history of the Cameron Highlands, please see this link.

WHAT I IMAGINED
When I first heard about the Cameron Highlands Resort and scanned some background information, I thought I was headed to a very quaint, quiet and exclusive part of Malaysia. I imagined a charming Victorian hotel in the middle of a tea plantation, miles and miles from civilization. What was I thinking? When we first arrived into town – yes, there’s a town; actually, three little towns: Ringlet, Tanah Rata and Brinchang, with approximately 7,000 people -- I was surprised. This is a tourist area, though not for Americans. I didn’t see any. However, you will find plenty of folks from Malaysia, Singapore, Japan and Europe. They typically spend just a couple of nights (I recommend a night or two).

GETTING TO CAMERON HIGHLANDS

Cameron Highlands are located 136 miles (219 km) north of Kuala Lumpur in Pahang, Malaysia. The fast road takes 2 1/2 hours. If you don’t want to drive yourself or take an inexpensive taxi, your hotel can hire a private car service for RM700.00 ($200) each way. There are two roads to Cameron Highlands from Kuala Lumpur: the Simpang Pulai exit (a newer, wider and less windy road) or the Tapah town exit (the old, much windier road, but 45 minutes faster). I took both (one in each direction) and I prefer the old road – not only because it saves time but it’s much more scenic. It is quite curvy, but I sat in the front seat and had no problems. A couple of friends who normally get carsick sat in the back. They took Dramamine, and also had no problems. The best part about the old road is that an hour from the highlands you come across an incredible stopping point that has public bathrooms (they charge 1RM [.28 cents]), outdoor souvenir stalls (ridiculously inexpensive), and a fantastic waterfall. Don’t miss out!

OVERALL EXPERIENCE

What can I say about Pangkor Laut Resort besides that I will never get an Abhyanga massage from a man again? Seriously, this place is amazing -- but there’s room for improvement. If the government can clean up the plastic bags, stop Indonesia from burning its land and bring back clean air, it could probably be one of the best places on earth. The rooms and water are not as unbelievable as the over-water bungalows in French Polynesia but when you factor in the price (rates begin at $275 USD, a quarter of Tahiti’s), then throw in the incredible food, service and friendliness of the staff, this place blows most others away. To top it off, I have been home over a month, and guess how many times I’ve used my inhaler? Maybe four! I went to my asthma doctor just to make sure my lungs were clear and the first thing he asked was, "Have you been working out?" I said, "No, I just went to Malaysia." He told me my lungs sound better then ever. Can you believe it?! Dr. Jok-Keng Lee and Pangkor Laut have seriously changed my life. They could change yours too. Pangkor Laut Resort & Spa Village, c/o Lumut Post Office, 32200 Lumut, Perak, Malaysia; tel: 011-605-699-1100. VIDEOHere’s a 2-minute Johnny Jet Video of my trip to Pangkor Laut Resort. It's also on YouTube so it only takes a few seconds to load (though the quality is not as crisp). We also have all the JohnnyJet Videos ever made on their servers, as well including my 2006 video year in review (Here’s the YouTube Link).

ABHYANGA MASSAGE

I sat on the cold wood table, and noticed a pot of hot oil on the stove. I learned it was Ayurvedic herbal oil which supposedly strengthens the internal organs, nervous system, muscles and bones, and regulates the digestive system. It also supposed to delay the aging process. Well, I think I aged a few years in half an hour. The masseuse began by applying another special oil on my head, and giving me a really enjoyable scalp massage. Then the pot came off the hot stove, and was brought bedside. He dipped his paws in, and put handfuls of warm oil on me beginning with my arms. All I heard was Indian music in the back room, and his long, rapid strokes. After 10 minutes he lay me down on the hard table, and put more oil on almost every nook and cranny of my body. Warm oil feels good, and I started to relax. My eyes grew heavier. I felt myself letting go and then the nightmare began. My mind was starting to wander (for a second there I thought Scarlett Johansson was the masseuse). The long strokes felt almost too good, if you know what I mean. After what seemed like an eternity, it was time to flip over to have my back done. The next scene would be a perfect clip for America’s (or Malaysia’s) Funniest Videos. I was so excited to turn over on my stomach that I moved waaaay too fast. I flew off the slippery table like a fish from a fisherman’s hands. It hurt like you wouldn’t believe. I got up with my Tarzan covering halfway up my waist, and said I’d had enough. But of course I was not done. You can’t walk around the tropics covered in oil. By the time I reached my room I would have been covered with mosquitoes. To get the oil off, of he rubbed some cold greenish gob stuff that smelled and looked like crushed peas all over my body. At last, I took a shower.

AYURVEDIC HUT

The next day I met with an Indian doctor for a consultation at the Ayurvedic Hut. Ayurveda is an ancient Indian healing tradition, meaning "science of life." I did not hit it off too well with this doctor, but I did sign up for a 50-minute Abhyanga massage (cost 250RM = $70 ) as he recommended. I had no idea what an Abhyanga massage was, nor did I have any idea what I was in for. All I know is that I went into a poorly lit room in a hut in one of the tree villas. I was greeted by a friendly young Indian man. Behind him was a wooden table a few inches thick, with a lip around the edges so nothing would drip off. It looked like a place where people are embalmed. I did not have a good feeling about this at all. To top it off he made me strip down naked, and put on a homemade Tarzan-like covering – I’m talking skimpy! At that point I yearned for the paper underwear the KL Ritz provided.

TAI CHI QUAN CLASSES

That was not my only encounter with Dr. Li – he was also my Tai Chi Quan instructor. I did not realize how short, compact and fit the man was until I signed up for his class RM50 ($14). No one else showed up, so it was like having my own private class without having to pay the RM 250 ($70). Tai Chi Quan is supposed to develop inner stamina, and circulate energy. It also makes Westerners look like dopes. With a boom box in hand and Tai Chi music ready to roll, Dr. Li found a grassy area smack in the middle of the spa grounds so everyone could see how foolish I looked. Of course the doc was graceful, moving like a swan. I was the complete opposite. At times I felt like he was making me pretend I was the Karate Kid, as he showed short, swift moves that had me blocking and throwing punches into the wind. I tried to stay focused, but I couldn’t. I realized Tai Chi Quan is a lot harder than it looks, and I pick up things slower than I thought. The best part came 20 minutes into the lesson, when he asked if I wanted to take a break for tea. I wanted to break for my bungalow.

TUINA-ANMO MASSAGE AND MOXABUSTION

It turns out Dr. Jok-Keng Lee is not the resident Chinese doctor – he is the hotel’s consultant, who flies in once a month. The everyday Chinese Doc gave me the Tuina-Anmo Massage (50 minutes, RM 250 [$70]) and moxabustion (50 minutes same price as the Tui Na… what ever). Dr. Li spoke very little English, and my Chinese is nonexistent. He normally uses an interpreter, but did not with me. That made things interesting (lots of hand signals). Dr. Li had unusually strong hands, and his fantastic massage focused on the acu-points of my body to restore the joints. Speaking of joints – next came the Moxabustion. The doctor used an herbal stick the size of a Cheech and Chong fatty, burning mugwort close (I’m talking VERY close) to specific acupuncture points. At times I said, "Damn, doc, you just burned my ass" (fortunately he had no idea what I was saying). I allowed this moderate torture because it’s supposed to be highly effective for stimulating the immune system. He also used a cupping technique, in which cups remove heat and wind in the body. I know you’re thinking "whatever" and "this stuff doesn’t really work."

CHINESE HERBAL HUT

Next on my spa list was an appointment with a Chinese doctor, at the Chinese Hut. I was curious to learn more about traditional Chinese healing, which sees the body as a "harmonious whole." Some of Pangkor Laut’s traditional Chinese healing sessions are rarely practiced anymore. I learned this in my meeting with Dr. Jok-Keng Lee, a 43-year-old doctor who has been practicing medicine since he was 12 (!), and holds a master of arts in Eastern philosophy) from the University of Iowa. Speaking perfect English, he began by asking me questions like how I was sleeping, and did I have pain anywhere? He then took my wrist, and used three fingers to take my pulse. It got eerily quite for about a minute (it felt like 20). With those three fingers on my pulse, he was checking my liver, kidneys, heart and lungs. He said everything was strong, but my lungs were cold. "Cold?" I wondered. He asked me if I use my asthma inhaler a lot. I nodded yes (I use it up to seven times a day). He told me I need to get off it -- cold air is not good for my lungs. He said I should cover up whenever I’m in the cold (including exposure to air conditioning). He recommended I use natural remedies to in place of my inhaler. He suggested that whenever I have the urge to hit my inhaler, I should drink ginseng tea or strong coffee, or eat chocolate. I thought he was crazy, but I liked his alternatives and kept an open mind. Before I left, he recommended I arrange for a Tuina-Anmo massage, and moxabustion. I had no idea what they were, but I took his advice.

BATH HOUSE

Spa Village treatments all begin with the unique bath house ritual. This 50-minute treatment RM250 ($70) includes bathing traditions from across Asia. I was greeted by a soft- spoken Balinese therapist, who was the sweetest thing ever. Everything she said was preceded by the quiet words "Mr. John." After handing me a welcome cold towel, ice water and a refreshing lemongrass drink, she began soaking my size 13 feet. In her soft voice she said, "Mr. John is the water too hot?" As I tried to figure out how to propose marriage to her, she gave me an invigorating Chinese foot pounding (in feudal Chinese times this was enjoyed only by concubines). She then escorted me to the male bath house, where I put my clothes in a locker and donned on a colorful sarong and was led to the traditional Malay "circulating" bath (based on villagers’ custom of bathing in streams or rivers). After I threw a coin in the wishing well, she instructed me to awaken the senses by breathing deeply in four different sweet-smelling steamers. Next it was time for a Japanese-style bath, where I could wash myself with a "goshi-goshi" cloth on a small stool (just like my trip to Kinosaki, Japan last year). I then took a dip in the heated Rotenburu pool and was served green tea. The grand finale was a Shanghai scrub. She gently exfoliated and washed my body in a private scrub house. In Shanghai this is traditionally offered only to males, but at the Spa Village both men and women get it done.

SPA VILLAGE

Staying in the Spa Village is a treat. Not only do you walk through their peaceful gardens every day, and swim in their private lappool, but the spa itself is just a short distance away. If you stay at Pangkor Laut Resort, it would be almost a sin not to get a treatment. This is by far the nicest spa I have been to in my life. Spread over four acres between the sea and the rainforest, it comprises a collection of low-slung buildings that are mostly open-air. Everything here is designed to soothe and refresh the senses, including the herb garden and reflexology path. I wanted to sample everything. I couldn’t, because of time and money -- but I spend two afternoons indulging.

EMERALD BAY

Once through the jungle you arrive on the other side in beautiful Emerald Bay (there is a free shuttle back). Emerald Bay was chosen of the Top Ten Beaches in the World by the London Daily Telegraph in 2003. I might have agreed, except it had recently rained, and the 80-degree water was littered with plastic bags. The resort has a special sifter boat to pick up the bags, but unfortunately it’s not enough. Villagers just throw their garbage and plastic bags in rivers, and after a storm the plastic bags make their way out to the island. I think the government could rectify this problem by putting nets at the mouths of the rivers, and of course educating the villagers about the importance of not littering.

ACTIVITIES AT PANGKOR LAUT

Most people who come to Pangkor Laut want to relax. But there plenty of activities to keep guests busy: tennis and squash courts, two swimming pools, a workout room, a TV room (there are no television sets in rooms), yoga and tai chi quan (scroll down for more on this), and a popular daily jungle trek. Don’t let that term scare you – it sounds a lot more strenuous and adventurous than it really is. Yip Yoon Wah (people call him Uncle Yip), the resident naturalist, is retired and loves to talk. The 2-kilometer path he uses takes his group 2 ½ hours to complete, though it could actually be done in 15 minutes (there is also a much longer trail). But if you go through the rainforest on your own you will miss Uncle Yip’s informative talk. He explains everything -- and I mean everything -- pointing out interesting wildlife like the macaque monkeys (I saw 20 at one time), a wagless pit viper (see the video below), and a tropical monitor lizard the size of me. I actually thought it was a Komodo dragon, but Uncle Yip set me straight. There is no charge for the walk.

SUNSET CRUISE

Guests can also arrange for a quiet, romantic four-course sunset dinner at sea aboard the resort's teak wood boat (called a tongkang). Another great way to spend the evening and meet other visitors: Every Thursday the resort takes out its other boat. Honeymoon couples and returning guests can travel around the island to watch the sun set.

DINING AT PANGKOR LAUT

There are nine different places to dine at the resort. At the Samudra, guests get authentic Malay and traditional Chinese cuisine at a restaurant built on stilts over the sea near the lobby. The Palm Grove Café, also near the lobby, is where the extensive buffet breakfast is served with tropical fruit drinks (these guys make the best and most unusual banana pancakes). Oasis Bar, next door, has drinks and snacks. Uncle Lim's Chinese restaurant was my favorite – not only for the open-air design, with dark wood and colorful red lanterns throughout the interior, all atop a rocky outcrop overlooking the sea -- but because Chef Uncle Lim made the best honey crispy chicken I ever had. Below Uncle Lim’s is the Sri Lagenda Lounge, where many people meet for pre- or post-dinner drinks. Sri Lagenda Lounge and Fisherman's Cove are the restaurants folks must walk through to get to Spa Village. Fisherman's Cove serves fine (and the most expensive) dishes, including fresh seafood, steaks (the beef is from Australia), and Chinese and Italian cuisine (this is the only restaurant with a dress code, which means no shorts or flip-flops). The Royal Bay Beach Club is located next to the lap pool in the Spa Village, and offers light breakfast, lunch and snacks throughout the day. Then there’s Chapman's Bar. Located on the other side of the island at Emerald Bay, it serves sandwiches, salads, local dishes and traditional satay. It’s the perfect place to go to after the jungle trek (more on that in a minute).

UNEXPECTED BUNGALOW GUESTS

The resort is so beautiful that I filled up an entire 1 GB SD card in the first couple of hours. As I sat on my bed downloading the pictures and videos to my computer, I heard a noise outside. I got up to see what all the ruckus was about. Guess who was on my doorstep? The monkeys! They were cruising along my balcony — I couldn’t believe it. I thought one of my colleagues had put fruit on my doorstep as a joke, but no one did. The monkeys were just checking out their neighbors.

MY OVERWATER BUNGALOW

This was my first time staying in an over-water bungalow since the island of Taha’a in French Polynesia (near Tahiti) a few years back. My room at Pangkor Laut was similar: spacious with high ceilings, dark wood floors, a large balcony with deck chairs, a bathroom with an oversized tub, and windows that open onto the sea. The shower head too was oversized, though neatly hidden in the ceiling, and provided excellent water pressure. All the rooms have air-conditioning, a comfortable king bed, a desk, telephone, large toiletries, hairdryer, mini-bar, coffee/tea machine, a CD player, and an electronic safe.

ROOMS

We were served a non-alcoholic fruit drink made of roselle (it has a cooling effect like lemonade), and given cold towels and the usual paper work as we watched peacocks roam the lobby. We were quickly briefed on Pangkor Laut’s 148 Malaysian-luxury-style villas. Later we saw a couple of the eight estates in a nearby secluded cove. They belong in Robin Leach’s homes of the rich and famous. In fact, many celebrities have stayed there, including Pavarotti and Joan Collins. However, I was staying (and couldn’t have been happier) in one of the 22 over-water bungalows standing elegantly on stilts over the sea in the new Spa Village section of the resort (they are known simply as the Spa Villas). Twenty-one other villas -- basically the same but a few years older and a bit cheaper in price -- are called Sea Villas. If you’re worried about being over the water, that’s okay; there are also 105 Beach, Hill and Garden Villas.

PANGKOR LAUT RESORT

It was raining, so the boat ride was not as pleasant as I imagine it normally is. But it was still special, and pulling up to the island -- seeing all the bungalows sitting patiently above the glistening water -- was memorable. Pangkor Laut is a 300-acre, privately owned island in the Straits of Malacca three miles off the west coast of Malaysia. The resort has developed only a fraction of the unspoiled two million-year-old rainforest, where some trees reach 150 feet high. This island is both lush and exotic! When we stepped off the boat an army of porters grabbed our bags, and a greeter walked us to the lobby. Along the way our mouths dropped open in amazement. From that short walk alone we could tell this place would be like Fantasy Island -- and the three nights we had there would be far too short.

KUALA LUMPUR TO PANGKOR LAUT

We headed to Pangkor Laut Island. It has won all kinds of awards, including Number One In The World (Conde Nast Traveller UK’s Top 100 list) and Top 10 Most Luxurious Spas (Tatler U.K.) Getting there is difficult, unless you have deep, deep pockets and hire a helicopter ($5,000 -- one way). Most guests drive three hours from Kuala Lumpur, then take a 30-minute boat ride. We hired a van and driver through the resort, for RM850 ($240). To pass time my friends and I played perverted car games, and stopped along the way to raid a gas station convenience store. We bought almost every different type of unusual potato chip flavor we could find (each bag cost only 45 cents). Surprisingly, they all were tasty! When we arrived at the Marina in Lumut, the island’s 60-foot private yacht was waiting for us. Each way costs $200. Another option, a public ferry, costs RM 50.00 ($14) each way for adults, RM 25.00 ($7) for children 2 to 12 years old.

TANJONG JARA RESORT

There were no Americans at the resort. Most guests were Europeans, from Britain, Germany or Holland. Many were honeymoon couples (the resort does a tree planting ceremony for them, complete with a plaque). But there were a number of families with children of various ages, all appearing to have a great time. If you go to Malaysia for the first time, I definitely recommend a stay at Tanjong Jara. But spend only 2 or 3 nights there; then travel to other parts of the country. (Next week I will show you a resort with overwater bungalows that will blow you away – but not your wallet.) Room rates at Tanjong Jara begin at $200 USD a night – and that’s a bargain! Tanjong Jara Resort, Batu 8 Off Dungun, 23009 Dungun, Terengganu Darul Imam, Malaysia; tel: 011-60-9-845-1100. VIDEOHere’s a 2-minute Johnny Jet Video of my trip to Tanjong Jara Resort. It's on YouTube, so it takes only a few seconds to load (though the quality is not as crisp). We also have all the JohnnyJet Videos ever made on their servers as well.

SPA VILLAGE

I was sitting on my deck reading a book when all of a sudden I heard a banging drum grow louder and louder. I looked up and saw a large group of people dressed in traditional Malay costume slowly marching through the resort. When I realized it wasn’t a coup, I decided to follow the friendly crowd. They made their way into the resort’s spa, and performed a traditional ceremony (which I later learned takes place every day at 11:30 a.m.). It was beautiful -- as was the spa. In fact, this spa is so nice that in 2004 Conde Nast magazine named it one of the top 100 spas in the world! It offers relaxation and stress relief programs, based on Malay medicine and therapy. In fact, this is supposedly the only spa in the world that features all-Malay healing treatments. They have been handed down from generation to generation, and the resort’s spa consultant, Sairani Mohd Saad’s, comes from one of those exclusive healing families.

MY MASSAGE
Unlike at the KL Ritz, I was not asked to wear paper underwear (thank God!) Instead I was offered a colorful sarong to wear while walking from the open-air locker room to one of the four treatment huts (guests can take it home, too). I had a "Tauam Pasir" treatment, which took 100 minutes and cost 255 RM ($71). The first half included a Malay massage -- a relaxing, deep tissue massage with long, kneading strokes. The second half got really interesting. The masseuse took out miniature heated sandbags. They were so hot that at times I had to mentally trick myself into thinking they weren’t painful (it worked for me). She then applied these bags to different pressure points around my body to help with circulation. Fortunately, I can take hot stuff. But if you’re like one of my colleagues who can’t (he hated it), you should consider another treatment. Note: For women they don’t use sand. Instead they apply less-hot steel or stones. Even though at times my treatment was really hot, I loved it. In fact, I found it so relaxing I even fell asleep twice.

DUNGUN MARKET

Guests can also accompany Chef Ann to the local Dungun "wet market." Dungun town is 10 minutes away, on the Dungun river. I went with her to check it out and see some of the local delights (like hot dogs with mayo). It’s similar to the Terengganu central market, but much, much smaller. If you go to the Terengganu market you can skip this one; they have the same tropical fresh fruits, vegetables and seafood. The locals here were also very nice -- not pushy, and I got the impression not used to seeing many Westerners.

THE BEACH

I have to mention the 3 km (1.8 miles) of deserted beach. I took a walk on it (see the video below) almost every day to see the shells, and I hardly ever saw anyone else! Once in a while there was a European family on the other side, but most of the time it was mine for as far as I could see. It was like having a private beach. There’s also no lifeguard, so you better be careful -- the warm water can get rough. I read in my Frommer’s guidebook that most locals in this state swim fully clothed. At this resort, though, it doesn’t matter if the girls go topless (though as much as it hurts me to write this—I don’t recommend women going topless).

ACTIVITIES

The resort offers other activities too. There are two swimming pools (one is adults only); a state-of-the-art fitness center; two tennis courts; jungle trekking; an eco-adventure river cruise; a guided bicycle tour; an 18-hole golf course (20 minutes away), and a slew of water activities like snorkeling, kayaking, windsurfing and diving. So what did I do? My only activities were pumping some iron, and chilling at the pool and beach.

FOOD STALLS

Speaking of food: Once a week during the high season (November to March) the resort puts on Kampong Sucimurni (which translates to "lifestyle experience"). It takes place on the lawn, and includes traditional games like congkak (a board game), batu seremban (a traditional children’s game played with five stones) and sepak takraw (like hacky-sack). There's also martial arts, music, and food stalls with local culinary delights like lemang (rice mixed with coconut milk), serunding (coconut fried with chilis), kopi kampong (coffee with condensed milk) and these dishes (sorry, I don’t know the local names): fried plantains, peanut pancakes and porridge with seafood. It’s all free, and takes place from 3:30 to 5 p.m. I sampled everything, so when dinner rolled around a few hours later I was not hungry. But how do you say no to foods you can’t get anywhere and taste so good?! There was even a not-so-friendly monkey plucking coconuts from the palm trees.

FOOD

One of the best features of the resort is their food. OMG, do they serve incredible traditional Malay and Chinese cuisine! They also have American food like hamburgers and chicken fingers, but I don’t recommend them. You don’t go to Asia to eat food you can get back home. My favorite dishes were the chicken and beef satays (with to-die-for peanut sauce), roti (plain or egg and onion), rendang, spring rolls, and soups (the chilled mango soup was insane). Oh, man – writing about this makes me hungry! The resort has four restaurants; they can also set up a private barbecue on your balcony or the beach (for an extra charge), as they did for us one night. Food is not included in the rate, and you really have no other place to eat, so it’s best to purchase the dining package for 150 RM ($42) per person per day. Is that a great deal or what? The price includes all non-alcoholic drinks, of which they have a wide variety (including plenty of flavored ice teas). Dining at the resort is casual, so don’t worry about bringing fancy clothes.

MY ROOM

The resort has 100 luxurious rooms in three different categories: Serambi (on the ground floor of a two-story building), Bumbung (above the Serambi rooms) and Anjung (10 single-story beach rooms, one of which I called home for three nights. My room had dark wood floors, a comfortable king-size bed, a desk, and a sofa bed against the wall. The bathroom was huge -- and that doesn’t even include the sunken outdoor bath set out back in a private garden. What impressed me most about the rooms (besides the firm water pressure) was that there were no bugs or loud geckos crawling around. At most tropical resorts you at least have ants, but not here. And every night the staff left a different kind of fresh tropical fruit in the room, with a note explaining what it was and all of its nutritional qualities. Every room has a TV with satellite (including ESPN and HBO), telephone, coffee/tea machine, mini-bar, oversized toiletries, and a hairdryer. All the rooms face the South China Sea, just 100 yards away. What I did not like about the rooms was that they lacked screens. You couldn’t leave your windows or doors open at night -- but they did have air conditioning.

THE DESIGN

The men’s bathroom in the lobby is seriously one of -- if not the -- nicest bathrooms I have ever been in. As you can see, it’s nothing fancy – just well designed, nicely lit and immaculate. That goes for the rest of the resort as well. It opened in 1979, and underwent extensive refurbishment and restoration in the late nineties. The resort’s slogan, "Unmistakably Malay," is very accurate. Not only have they preserved Tanjong Jara's 17th-century traditional Malay architecture, but the food and 200-member staff also honor Malay culture. Part of the cultural is that everyone is exceedingly friendly and hospitable to visitors. They go out of their way to make sure guests’ stays are memorable. For example, the resort has free Wifi and computers in the lobby, but when a worker saw me schlepping my laptop back and forth every few hours to check my email, he asked if I wanted him to put Wifi in my room? Of course I did -- and 10 minutes later I was surfing the net bedside. Yeah, baby! With service like that, no wonder this 5-star resort is a member of Small Luxury Hotels of the World.

TANJONG JARA RESORT

Tanjong Jara Resort is located on a 42-acre site on the east coast of peninsular Malaysia, facing the South China Sea. When we pulled up a traditionally dressed Malay man and woman greeted us (one even gonged the gong). We were handed tropical fruit drinks and cold towels. When I walked into the open-air lobby, I was impressed. It was so much nicer than I imagined. The resort’s design derives from the elegantly crafted wooden palaces of Malay sultans long ago. All the ceilings are high; there is lots of open space, and the grounds are immaculate. At night the wide sidewalks are well lit, so you don’t have to worry about stepping on any tropical creatures. Best of all, there is no malaria (huge sigh). In fact, that was my first question to the general manager, Adrian Chung (I had not taken any anti-malaria pills, because there was no time – this was a last-minute trip). He laughed and said I didn’t have to worry about malaria there, or almost anywhere else in peninsular Malaysia. That eased my concerns tremendously. But I still showered myself with DEET before going outside – just in case.

DRIVE TO RESORT

Driving down mostly straight coastal roads for the next hour, I had a feeling the resort would not be too nice. The area did not look appealing, and we had to swerve twice to avoid cows crossing the street and a huge iguana. That thing was so big, I thought it was a dinosaur. I did not see any hotels along the way. But when we reached the Tanjong Jara Resort, and I saw a carved, dark wood sign set in a stone wall, I thought, "Holy cow – that is very cool!".

TERENGGANU MARKET

Our group was picked up by our resort in two Volvos; the cost was 300RM [$84] per car. Instead of driving an hour and 20 minutes directly to the resort, we stopped after 20 minutes at the Kuala Terengganu central market (known locally as Pasar Payang). The market, located near the Terengganu River, is said to be one of the most popular tourist spots in Kuala Terengganu. Well, where were the tourists? We were the only Westerners there. We stuck out so much, I expected the music to stop like in the movie Animal House when we walked into the indoor/outdoor market. However, that didn’t happen. Everyone was very friendly, and did not push their goods on anyone. When I asked if I could take somebody’s picture (it’s always a good idea to ask), they all kindly obliged. The huge market sells everything from clothes to machetes to sweets to fresh seafood, vegetables and fruit. One kilo of rambutons cost 1 RM (30 cents). Bottled water was the same -- is that unreal?! They also sell keropok lekor, a local delicacy made from a mixture of fish and sago (a powdery starch). The highlight for me -- besides interacting with the locals, including teenage girls who giggled when I told them I was from California -- was seeing all the rickshaws lined up outside.

TERENGGANU

Terengganu, Malaysia’s most Islamic state, was the first Malay state to receive Islam (as attested to by a stone monument dated 1303). Until a few years ago, strict laws governed everything from Western bathing suits (no bikinis) to shutting down movie theatres (Malaysia had very strict censorship regulations). But a new regime changed all that. They now embrace tourists – in fact, they’re even building a new Kuala Terengganu airport. On the flight over I had no idea what to expect – especially after seeing that everyone on our plane was Muslim. But as all travelers should do, I kept an open mind.

KUALA LUMPUR TO KUALA TERENGGANU

There are two good things about taking the 28-minute KLIA express train to the airport from the city: It cuts your travel time in half, and you can check in for your flight (including your bags) at the station. All I had to do at the airport was go through security and wait for my flight. I browsed the shops, and grabbed a breakfast sandwich and fresh- squeezed watermelon juice at a nice café (all for the low price of 18RM [$5]). I also logged on to the free wireless internet signal (why can’t all U.S. airports have this too?). My 35-minute flight to Kuala Terengganu was uneventful. I flew on a half-full Malaysia Airlines Boeing 737, with friendly flight attendants who served juice and coffee. Round- trip tickets cost 316 RM ($90). That’s a lot better than a 482 km (300 mile) drive that takes roughly 6 hours.

TSUNAMI & INDONESIA’S FIRES

I’ve heard lots of questions about the effects of the 2004 tsunami that devastated 11 countries along the Indian Ocean -- especially Sri Lanka, the beaches on Phuket (Thailand) and the entire northern tip of Sumatra (Indonesia). Although 68 people died in Malaysia, the country feels lucky; since 229,866 people were lost in the region. Malaysia was fortunate, because Indonesia shielded the wave(s). I’m guessing that’s why the Malaysian government doesn’t put up a bigger stink about Indonesia’s fires. That was the biggest bummer about Malaysia for me. Every year Indonesian farmers burn their crops and forests as a cheap way of cultivating the land. This creates thick smoke and serious health problems, not only for Indonesians but also their neighbors in Malaysia and Singapore. Someone has to stop this. It was so bad when I was there in early October that it shut down some airports and schools. I don’t recommend traveling to this region when these burns take place (in 2006 they began in July; the worst occurred in October). For more information about the 2006 Southeast Asian haze, click here.

LUNA BAR

If you want a place with great views for drinks or dinner, try the Luna Bar. I didn’t eat there, but I did lounge around on both floors of the bar. At 34 stories up it’s almost the same view as from the Petronas, but from here you can see one of the towers – a much nicer sight. The only problem is that you only see one of the towers. Visitors come here for the view and the atmosphere, because service is slow, the mixed drinks don’t taste too good, and it’s much more expensive than most places (drinks start at 20 RM [$5]). But I highly recommend it, especially if you can score a romantic windowside niche – you’re set for the night. On weekends after 9:30 p.m., expect to pay a 50 RM ($14) cover charge (it includes a drink). I told you Malaysia was inexpensive! Luna Bar, Menara PanGlobal 34F, Jalan Punchak (off Jl P. Ramlee), tel.: 60-3-2026-2211. VIDEOHere’s a 2-minute Johnny Jet Video of my trip to Kuala Lumpur (including my flight over). It's on YouTube, so it only takes a few seconds to load (though the quality is not crisp). All JohnnyJet Videos ever made are on their servers as well.

KUALA LUMPUR CITY CENTER (KLCC)

Connected to Petronas’ Twin Towers is the Suria KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Centre), one of the biggest malls in Southeast Asia. The bright, crescent-shaped six-level structure features over 200 shops (including Tiffany’s), three department stores, movie theatres, and a monster food court with over 1,500 seats. I felt like I was in a really nice mall back home, because the prices were just as expensive – if not more. Except for the food, that is – it was ridiculously inexpensive. A huge plate of Indian food cost me roughly $2.50. I also had a snow cone (under a dollar), and a couple of glasses of fresh- squeezed watermelon juice for $1 each. There was even an Auntie Anne’s Pretzels, a common sight in American airports, except here the prices were two-thirds lower. Outside the mall, a 50-acre park offers water fountains, a kiddy playground and a jogging track. The entire complex, including the towers, is owned by Petronas (short for Petroliam Nasional Berhad), a Malaysian government-owned oil and gas company that operates in 31 countries (and has deep pockets).

PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS

Kuala Lumpur's most famous landmark is the 1,483-foot (452-meter) Petronas Twin Towers. The 88-floor buildings were constructed in 1998 by American architect Cesar Pelli. For six years they were the world's tallest buildings (Taipei 101 now holds the title). They were designed in keeping with Islamic patterns. That was achieved by using geometric art – such as squares, hexagons, octogons.... The Arabesque octagons at the top of each tower are part of that form. Halfway up, a sky bridge connects the two towers. From a distance this makes them look like a pair of humongous rockets about to be launched into outer space.

VISITING THE PETRONAS TWIN TOWERS
On a clear night, all lit up, the twin towers are absolutely beautiful. The only problem is that you can’t go inside then. In fact, there are very strict rules about visiting. The skybridge is open to all visitors, and passes are free. However, there is a limit of 1,300 tickets a day. These are usually handed out before noon, and reservations are not accepted. To avoid waiting in a long line, arrange for your hotel to get you passes. If they refuse, ask the bellman to do so. I’m sure he’d be happy to do (for a small amount of money).

THE SKYBRIDGE
Our time slot was 1 p.m. We thought we would just cruise up and down and be on with our day, but that was not possible. First, visitors are asked to wait in a room filled with information about the towers. When our time slot was called we were given a colored pass. Then everyone went into a small theatre to watch a documentary, until we were summoned. The film does not start when you walk in; it runs continuously. Other groups were in there as well. The only good part is that the seats are comfortable. When we were finally called 20 minutes later (it felt like 2 hours), it was time to go through airport- like security -- except this was tighter. I was shocked when we were led to the most sterile elevator I’ve ever seen. I thought a structure as magnificent as this would have a better-looking elevator. Fortunately, it takes only a few seconds to reach the sky bridge, located on the 41st and 42nd floors. The 41st floor is for visitors (that’s as high as they can go), while the 42nd floor is only for employees. The sky bridge is 557 feet (170 meters) off the ground, and 190 feet (58 meters) long. When clear, the view is very nice. It might look familiar, because it was shown in the 1999 movie "Entrapment" starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery. Visiting hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, except Mondays. For more information on tickets, surf to this website: Petronas.com.my

YO TAXI!

Getting a taxi from the night market is not a problem – but getting them to charge by the meter is. When drivers use the meter, the fare is so cheap I understand why they put up a fuss. If you don’t feel like arguing with a driver, then before getting into the car you should bargain for a fixed price. My friends and I hired a taxi to take us to Petronas Towers, then to our hotel. Each was a 10 minute drive. We tacked on another 15 minutes at the towers for picture-taking. It cost us only 30 RM ($8.50) for over 30 minutes. In Europe or the U.S. the price would be at least quadruple that. The one drawback: These taxis are so small that three people in the back seat are cramped. They felt like the cheapest thing I’ve ever ridden in – it was like riding in a tin can on wheels. FYI: All fine hotels have drivers waiting outside with luxury cars for hire. Their prices are still cheaper than taxi rates in the U.S.

NIGHT MARKET

A good place to visit after dinner is the Night Market on Petaling Street, in the heart of KL’s Chinatown. This is not the best night market I’ve ever been to (the ones in Bangkok and Hong Kong blow it away), but it’s still a good experience to walk through the two tight, completely packed streets where street hawkers try to get you to buy all kinds of cheap stuff, from t-shirts to knickknacks. I bought a fridge magnet for less than a dollar, and a bag of Rambutans (my favorite tropical fruit) for only 2 RM (56 cents). If I hadn’t just eaten dinner I would have tried the street food specialties: nasi ayam goring (chicken fried rice) and kari laksa (rice noodles in coconut curry).

FISHERMAN’S COVE

I had dinner at Fisherman’s Cove. It is designed like a rustic fisherman’s boathouse, with bamboo boat sails and fish tanks. I am not a big seafood fan, so the most impressive part of the evening was the desserts. They were too good to describe, and my pictures don’t do either the presentation or the colors justice. Fisherman’s Cove, LG10 Feast Village, Starhill Gallery, 181 Jalan Bukit Bintang, 55100 Kuala Lumpur; tel.: 603-2782 3848.

STARHILL GALLERY

The JW hotel is linked to the prestigious Starhill Gallery, whose seven levels boasts 70 shops (including top brand name designers like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton…). A ground floor, nicknamed Feast Village, offers a slew of restaurants where patrons can dine on Chinese, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Malaysian, Middle Eastern, Spanish, seafood, Thai -- you name it! One of several bars -- the Village – is special: It is made from 10,000 recycled bottles. That’s not the only architectural wonder. The design of this entire floor is so cool – it’s funky, dark, and definitely worth the trip.

MY ROOM

The JW opened in 1997. Service is excellent; check-in was quick; the elevators were fast, and my bags got delivered to my room very efficiently. My room was comfortable, but nothing special. In fact, when I walked in I had a flashback to a few months earlier, when I stayed at JW Marriott in Brisbane. The room was almost (if not) identical (here’s the story from that trip). What I liked about this JW is that the internet was free, there was a huge workout facility (including an outdoor pool), and there was access to some of the best restaurants and shopping in the city. Rates begin at 400 RM ($112) a night. The JW Marriott Hotel, 183 Jalan Bukit Bintang, 55100 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; tel.: 011-60-3-2715-9000.

CHECKING INTO THE JW

I checked out of the Ritz-Carlton and into the JW Marriott. I actually didn’t go directly from one to the other, though that would have been convenient (they are adjacent to each other). Instead my stay at the JW took place on my return from the countryside (which I will get to next week). For easier reading, I thought it would be best to put all my KL (Kuala Lumpur) experiences together.

JW MARRIOTT HOTEL
The JW, like the Ritz, is rated 5 stars. But because it’s so much larger – 561 rooms -- it lacked the same luxury feel. The biggest disappointment for me was that the bedroom walls were so thin I could hear the guest next door blowing his (or her) nose. And that person’s wake-up call woke me up as well. However, don’t let that stop you from staying at this 29-story hotel. The location is ideal, and the price is right. It’s in the "Golden Triangle" of Bintang Walk, a popular shopping area that’s trying to emulate Ginza in Tokyo.

PAPER UNDERWEAR

It did not finish there. Next, I changed out of my clothes and into some paper underwear – yes, that’s right. The masseuse handed me what looked like an inch-thick mini-bar coaster, and asked me to put it on. I’m assuming Malays are very shy. I had never worn underwear for a massage before -- especially these underpants, shaped and baggy like for a granny with a waist too small for Michael Jackson, let alone a 36-size-waist oaf. But it didn’t matter what I wore, because my masseuse had magical hands. During my first hour I got a traditional Malay massage, with long kneading strokes that focused on the muscles (cost: 225 MYR [$62]). Then I had some kind of hair treatment. It felt good, and I didn’t lose any hair. The grand finale was a body scrub that felt so damn good. The hair treatment cost $26 and the hour-long body scrub costs the same as a massage: $62. When it was over I was off to the milk bath out back to soak and relax, while eating lunch and sipping Chinese tea. The finishing touch before the outdoor shower was roasting in the portable steam room for 10 minutes. When it was over, I felt like a new man. In fact, my colleagues said I glowed. VIDEOHere’s a 2-minute Johnny Jet Video of my stay at the Ritz-Carlton Kuala Lumpur (and my flight over). It's on YouTube so it only takes a few seconds to load (though the quality is not as crisp). We also have all the JohnnyJet Videos ever made on their servers as well.

THE SPA VILLAGE AT THE KL RITZ

Although the Ritz-Carlton is located in the heart of the city’s business and commercial district along the trendy "Bintang Walk" – a street lined with upscale shops, residences, malls, cafes and pubs -- I did not explore it. I was too busy enjoying the services from the hotel. Can you blame me? None was greater was my trip to the Spa Village, located on the ground floor of the Residences building. The 12,000-square foot spa has 8 indoor/outdoor treatment rooms. Guests are greeted with cold towels, ice water, and hot tea. I set up an array of their specialties. My first appointment was a visit to their new "Sensory Room." This is supposed to provide "a backdrop for the healing vibrations in the sensory experience." I have no idea what that means, but I did this hour-long unique experience with my group just a few hours after landing. I know: That’s not the best time to do something like this. Ideally to combat jet lag, one should be in bright sun – not a dark, relaxing room with twinkling lights listening to a soft-spoken Malay woman trying to resurrect my sensory (I didn’t know I lost it). The first 20 minutes was spent sampling different spices/herbs to get my sense of taste in order. All I remember is that two of the foods were a pinch of salt (for bitter) and a honey cube (for sweet). The last thing I recall is an army of masseuses with incredibly soothing hands giving each of us a head massage. I woke up hearing my group laughing hysterically, because I was snoring like a bear. Sensory Exploration Group Session: per person 150 MYR ($41), private session 225 MYR ($62).

FOOD AT THE RITZ

When I was done emailing all my friends about how affordable this place is, I went down to the dining room for breakfast (it too is included in the daily rate). After some green guava juice, and beef rendang and eggs (there was also a full American breakfast buffet that would put any U.S. hotel to shame), I was off to the gym. It’s open 24 hours, near the pool and spa (more on the spa in a moment). Later that evening I met up with the group I would be touring Malaysia with. We had dinner together at the Li Yen ("Beautiful Garden") in the Ritz’s fine-dining Chinese restaurant. The restaurant is known for its Cantonese specialties, including dim sum and Peking duck. Who knew that fried duck skin would taste so good?

RITZ’S BUTLER SERVICE

The service at this luxury boutique hotel did not stop there. As my chaperone promised, my "butler" arrived a few minutes later -- with a glass of fresh juice and a cold towel. She took my credit card information, and asked if there was anything she could do (like get a shirt pressed, shoes shined, make dinner reservations…). The Ritz-Carlton offers Malaysia’s first all-butler service, and it doesn’t cost anything extra. That’s not even the best part. Take a guess how much rooms cost a night. $450? That was my guess – but WRONG! Rooms at the Ritz begin at $104 a night. Is that crazy? That’s another reason why I love Asia: Everything is so much cheaper. Now take a guess how much a stamp costs for a postcard to the U.S.? Try .50 MYR (13 cents). It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?

RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL

No place in the world has better service than Asia – and the Ritz-Carlton Kuala Lumpur proved that the moment I pulled up. I was in awe when I saw four people do what most of the time not one person does in other hotels. One person opened my door, another welcomed me, the third went directly to the trunk for my bags, and the fourth held the front door of the hotel open for me. It didn’t end there either. I started to walk to the front desk, but my chaperone said, "It’s okay, Mr. DiScala" (my real name). "We do the check-in in the room." I was quickly whisked up a fast elevator to the 11th floor (out of 20), where I was shown around my plush room (one of the hotel’s 248). All rooms have floor-to-ceiling windows, beautiful furnishings, a marble bathroom, free high-speed internet (not wireless), a flat screen TV (with satellite, so I could catch the sport scores on ESPN), a DVD player, and -- most importantly -- a comfortable bed. Most impressive of all was what I noticed just before I went to sleep: One of the pillowcases had my initials in blue stitching. Talk about personalized service -- and they do this for every guest. Is that unreal?!

DRIVE TO HOTEL

My driver was very nice, and excited to show me his city. He pointed out all the landmarks on the 15-minute ride to the hotel. If you don’t want to spend the few extra dollars for a private car service, taxis are easy to come by -- and ridiculously inexpensive. A taxi from the Sentral (not a typo) Station to the city would have cost me just a few dollars. Make sure the driver uses the meter so he doesn’t overcharge you – but if he does, don’t worry. It’s still way cheaper than what you pay in the U.S..

DRIVE TO HOTEL

My driver was very nice, and excited to show me his city. He pointed out all the landmarks on the 15-minute ride to the hotel. If you don’t want to spend the few extra dollars for a private car service, taxis are easy to come by -- and ridiculously inexpensive. A taxi from the Sentral (not a typo) Station to the city would have cost me just a few dollars. Make sure the driver uses the meter so he doesn’t overcharge you – but if he does, don’t worry. It’s still way cheaper than what you pay in the U.S..

VIP SERVICE

I had already arranged to try out the airport’s new VIP Service. It costs 100 MYR ($27), and 30 MYR ($8) for an additional passenger. That meant the moment I cleared customs (which took a minute) there was a porter with a name card waiting for me. This quiet, friendly young guy walked me over to the VIP counter, where I was handed a train ticket and car transfer. Regular porter service at the airport is free, but the VIP Service not only waits for your bag to come out (mine took an hour); the porter also rode the 28-minute train with me to the city. He sat a couple of rows behind me, then escorted me and my bags to my driver. How’s that that for service? FYI: This high-speed KLIA train is the fastest way into the city. Regular one-way tickets cost 35MYR ($10); trains depart every 15 minutes. Driving would take at least 45 minutes. Click the respective links for more info on VIP Service or KLIA Express Info.

CELL SERVICE
Most of Asia has excellent cell phone service, so while I was on the comfortable train I made phone calls to let my dad and family know I made it (they were worried too). It was 7 a.m. local time, which meant 7 p.m. the previous day on the East Coast. If you want to learn how I save money with my international cell phone service (I get free incoming calls, and pay just a third of the U.S. cell price for outgoing calls), click here.

AIRPORT TO CITY

Now that I have established what a safe and harmonious country Malaysia is, it’s time to explore! Kuala Lumpur has one of the best rated airports in the world (travel magazines often name it on their Top10 lists). When my plane landed early, at 5:45 a.m., I was the first person off the plane, the first to clear customs -- and the last to get his bag. Arrrgh! Don’t you hate that—especially when everything was going so smoothly? It’s okay though, because I wasn’t in a hurry and I was in MALAYSIA! While I waited at baggage claim I walked over to the ATM to withdraw some Malaysia ringgits ($1 USD = 3.63 MYR).

MALAYSIA

FEAR OF MALAYSIA
As I admitted last week, I was a bit nervous coming here. For starters, some of my Fox News Channel-loving friends put the fear of God in me when they said I was crazy to travel here. They made me think I would be killed in an anti-American rally, or framed – then hung – for smuggling drugs. This was on top of all my others concerns: How would my asthma hold up in the pollution? Were there huge poisonous snakes? And would I contract malaria or other diseases because I did not take the vaccinations my doctor recommended? (Huge sigh.) Obviously, the media plays a huge role in these perceptions, although frankly, I did not see any Malaysia commercials or magazine advertising until recently. I understand that in the past Malaysia has not been the most welcoming country. But that’s no longer true -- and as you will see over the next few weeks (with lots of pictures and videos), Malaysia is a fantastic, safe country to visit.

ABOUT MALAYSIA
Malaysia is located in Southeast Asia (here’s a map). It is comprised of two parts. West (or peninsula) Malaysia is situated between Thailand and Singapore. The South China Sea is on one side, with the Strait of Malacca on the other. East Malaysia lies across the South China Sea on the island of Borneo, which it shares with Indonesia and Brunei. Because of Malaysia’s prime geographical location -- between China and the Middle East – from the 10th century on it has been an important trading port. Some of the most popular exports over the years have been natural rubber, tin, palm oil, cocoa, pepper, pineapple, tobacco, porcelain, and -- most recently --semiconductors.

BRIEF HISTORY OF MALAYSIA
I will just touch upon the history of Malaysia; otherwise this newsletter would go on forever (for a detailed description click here). Because of Malaysia’s location and natural resources, it has been envied by many nations. In 1511 the port of Malacca (on the west coast of the Malay Peninsula) was conquered by Portugal; in 1641 the Dutch took over. In 1786 Britain established its first colony in Malaysia before taking complete power in 1919. During World War II the Japanese were in control, but when the war ended in 1945 the British got it back. A decade later, after a series of Malay uprisings, Malaysia regained its independence. On August 31, 1957 it became an independent country.

MAKE UP OF MALAYSIA
When the British had control they brought in Chinese and Indian workers to tend the plantations and mines. Although most later returned to their countries, some remained and settled permanently. Today Malaysia is a multiethnic, multicultural and multilingual society. The official language is Bahasa Melayu, but everyone speaks English. Chinese (Cantonese, Mandarin, Hokkien, Hakka, Hainan, Foochow), Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Panjabi and Thai are other commonly spoken languages. Malaysia’s population of 24.3 million is comprised of 50% Malay, 24% Chinese, 11% indigenous and 7% Indian, with the remaining 8% from a variety of ethnic groups. Under Malaysian law, one must be Muslim to legally be considered Malay, but only 60% of the country practices Islam. (My ignorant friends had me thinking it would be 99.9% -- though I guess I’m the ignorant one for listening to them, and not doing my own research). The majority of the other 40% of the population practices Buddhism (20%), Christianity (9%) and Hindu (6%). I had no idea the country is so diverse, so I was surprised when I drove by Christian churches. A taxi driver told me that he loves living here because everyone gets along, there’s no serious crime (just purse snatchers), and because of the diverse population Malaysia might have the most public holidays of any country.

VISIT MALAYSIA YEAR 2007
2007 will be Malaysia’s coming-out party. That’s because next year marks Malaysia's 50th year of independence from Britain, and the government is spending tons of money on a "Visit Malaysia Year 2007" campaign. They hope to attract over 20 million foreign visitors. Kuala Lumpur’s mayor, Ruslin Hassan, has announced efforts to clean up the streets and public toilets. They’re adding more security, repainting old structures, adding flowers, trees and sculptures, and building six tourist information kiosks around the capital city. Who says Malaysia doesn’t welcome foreigners?

BUYING A ROUND THE WORLD TICKET

I can't tell you how cool it was to travel this way to Asia. Of course it's a treat to be in a phat comfortable seat, waited on hand and foot while being fed delicious food and treated with the utmost respect. But it was also cool to fly over countries I have only dreamed of seeing, such as Latvia, Russia, Afghanistan, Kazakhstan (what's up Borat), and India. In addition, it was much quicker traveling east, because we went with the winds. Plus there was no International Date Line to cross, which makes you not only lose a whole day but also your mind. Another in-flight notable that I should mention is the fancy L'Occitane soap found in the lavatories. Not many airlines carry designer products in their bathrooms!

BUYING A ROUND THE WORLD TICKET
If you're interested in a round-the-world ticket, you can either book one online. Airtreks (here's the link) makes it simple. If you prefer a live person, call my personal travel agent John Dekker at 1-800-JohnnyJet.

FOOD AND BEVERAGE

The flight attendants continually came around with food, beverage and hot towels. Service began the moment I sat down, and they handed me two menus. The beverage menu had a wide selection of fine champagne, wines, happy hour cocktails, teas and gourmet coffee. The other menu detailed the food service. Because the flight departed at 12:30 p.m. (Swedish time) and would arrive at 7 a.m. (Malaysia time), we started with lunch an hour after takeoff. For starters the flight attendants offered a tray filled with vegetarian samosa, scampi butterfly, leek paj and Indian chicken ball skewers (it doesn't sound appealing, but believe me, it was tasty). Then came a variety of warm breads, and a chicken and mushroom terrine appetizer. My main course was chicken stir fry served with fried rice, glazed bok choy and carrots. The other choices were filet mignon, or Italian mixed potato and vegetable stir fry. Dessert was apple strudel and/or fresh fruit.

FLIGHT ATTENDANTS

I knew the flight crew would be good because of all their accolades and awards, but I had no idea how beautiful or how well dressed they were. They must hire only good-looking people. All of the women were gorgeous, and the men were very cool. On top of that, they did a great job serving. However, because I had such high expectations I should mention there was a time when I woke up dying of thirst. After waiting 15 minutes (it felt like hours) for someone to come around, I did the unthinkable: I pressed the flight attendant call button. This is a huge no-no in the U.S., because flight attendants give you serious attitude if it's not an emergency. But to my dismay no one came around immediately. When one did, I politely asked for a glass of water. Like a magician, she pulled a bottle from a cubbyhole in my seat back. I had no idea it was even there. What a jack ass I am! Speaking of cubbyholes, I read one of the travel magazines I stored in a seat pocket. It had an article on the best in-flight amenity kits – and yes, Malaysia Airlines was listed. I was shocked to see that each one is valued at $62. I now plan to give it to one of my sisters as a stocking stuffer. (I hope they're not reading this story; otherwise they'll fight over it.)

BUSINESS CLASS

Malaysia Airlines flies a Boeing 777 aircraft on the Stockholm to KL route. There are two classes of service on this plane: Golden Club Class and economy. Fortunately, I was in seat 2D, an aisle seat in the center. (The business configuration is 2-3-2; in economy it's 2-5-2). There was no one in the middle seat between me and the American woman on my right, so we had more than enough space. The sleeper seats were comfortable. They're in a privacy shell, meaning they don't recline on the passenger behind. They slide down to a flat bed on a 9-degree angle. I have a difficult time sleeping on planes, but I did manage a couple of hours. I don't think it would have mattered even if I had my California King on the plane. I was so excited to be traveling over parts of the world I have only dreamed about seeing that there was no way I would get much sleep. I kept switching back to the in-flight map on the 10.4-inch LCD touch screen monitor to see what country we were flying over. I hardly even used any of the 350 entertainment options, which included a wide range of 40 movies (from new releases to classics), 60 TV shows (comedies and travel programs), 200 music CDs and 55 video games. They offer the same entertainment in economy, on smaller screens. My only disappointment with the in-flight entertainment was the headset. I expected noise cancellation headphones, but they had the same cheap ones American carriers have in coach. I was surprised the flight attendants collected them before landing – as if someone would steal them.

MALAYSIA AIRLINES

Before this trip I researched Malaysia Airlines (I like to know about a carrier before getting on it for the first time). I learned that Malaysia Airlines has been in business for 57 years. They fly to over 100 destinations on six continents. They're obviously not some rinky-dink airline, but who knew these guys were one of only four 5-Star airlines in the world (according to Skytrax Research). They continually score high marks, including a first place finish in this year's poll for best economy class, and third place for Best Cabin Staff. That's impressive, especially considering the number of airlines in the world. You might be familiar with Malaysia Airlines because they are one of two Asian carriers that occasionally offer the incredible All Asia Airpass (for $999 you can fly to 17 Asian cities in 30 days – including your flight to and from the U.S.!). They also offer a Discover Malaysia Pass.

STOCKHOLM TO KUALA LUMPUR

Once the passengers started piling in, and I saw a bunch of European families traveling with kids and babies, I realized my fears were ridiculous. "Fear" really is the worst four- letter word in the dictionary. Malaysia Airlines flies out of a number of European cities (Amsterdam, Frankfurt, London, Paris, Rome...), but I took the Stockholm to Kuala Lumpur (KL) flight because it's the only European connection that originates in the U.S. (Newark) and I wanted to experience flying from the East Coast of the U.S. to Asia. (Malaysia's flight out of Los Angeles makes a stop in Taipei before arriving in KL.) I expected this to be a much longer trip than it was. I always thought the quickest way to Asia was through the West Coast of the U.S., but boy, was I wrong. The flight time from Newark to Stockholm is 7 hours, while the flight from Stockholm to Kuala Lumpur is a quick 10 hours, 47 minutes. Not even 11 hours? That's nothing! It's the same time as L.A. to Paris, or L.A. to Fiji. (If you're vague about where Malaysia actually is, check out this world map.)

RUN TO GATE

As I spent my last Swedish kroners I glanced up at an airport monitor and saw my flight flashing "final call." I looked at my watch in a panic. I could not understand why it was final call. According to my clock I had over an hour left. But I had no time to find out if there was a mistake, if my watch broke, if there was a time change the night before, or anything. I could only react. So I ran through the airport like a crazy man – passing all the slow, reserved Swedes on the way. I arrived at the gate, where I appeared to be the last person to go through passport control and secondary screening. Once inside the gate area, I realized I wasn't the last. In fact, I was one of the first. They had not even begun boarding! The agent said they do this "final call" so there won't be a bottleneck at secondary security, which in turn would make the plane late. It makes sense -- but I wish someone informed me, so I would not almost have a coronary or asthma attack.

STOCKHOLM AIRPORT

Most of my fears subsided the moment I checked-in at Malaysia Airlines. The Golden Club Class check-in line was empty (the economy line wasn't much longer). The pretty agent was friendly; she laughed at my jokes, took my Delta SkyMiles frequent flier number (Malaysia Airlines is partners with Delta and Northwest), and pointed me toward the short security line as she handed me my boarding card and pass for the lounge. My first stop after clearing security was the Novia lounge. Malaysia Airlines shares it with two dozen other airlines; it is reserved for business class passengers and/or club members. The lounge was a nice haven from the crowded gate area. But it was too quiet for me, and had nothing special to offer. So after a glass of orange soda I hit the duty-free shops.

FEAR OF EVERYTHING

I admit I was a bit nervous about this trip. Not only was it my first time around the world, but I didn't know anything about Malaysia. Some Fox News Channel- loving friends put the fear of God in me when they said I was crazy to travel there. They made me feel like I would either be killed in an anti-American rally, or framed – then hanged – for smuggling drugs. This was on top of all my others concerns: How would my asthma hold up in the pollution? Were there huge poisonous snakes? And would I contract malaria or other diseases because I did not take the vaccinations my doctor recommended? (Huge sigh.) Note: I was on the June 2004 inaugural Singapore-to-Newark flight (here's the link). It's still the longest nonstop commercial flight in the world. But I don't count it as "going around the world," because instead of circling the globe, it travels over the polar cap.

Round-The-World

Happy New Year! I'm on a round-the-world ticket, coming to you from the heart of Asia! How cool is that? Last time we left off in beautiful Stockholm, Sweden where I spent only a night (here's the link to the archives). Instead of flying the 5,500 miles back to Los Angeles, I went in the other direction. This is my maiden voyage circling the globe, and my first time in Malaysia. If you want to come with me on a journey halfway around the world, hop on: A Malaysia Airlines Golden Club Class (business class) seat has your name written all over it.