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TOUR GUIDE
One of my Canadian friends from Los Angeles had moved to Abu Dhabi a few months before so I invited her to go on an abbreviated city tour with me, arranged by the Abu Dhabi tourism board. Ziad from Arabian Adventures (ziad.ayache@emirates.com, Tel.: +971 (0) 2 6911711) met us right on time in the lobby. As I walked out of the hotel, in came a sheik with three women behind him, all in traditional, floor-length black abayas. I'm assuming they were his wives and I would love to know how these guys manage to live with multiple women. Someone's got to do a reality TV show.

EMIRATES PALACE HOTEL
On the tour, I was surprised that there was so little traffic as I have heard that Dubai is just one big traffic jam. Our first stop was the Emirates Palace Hotel. It turns out The Shangri-La is regarded as the second nicest hotel in Abu Dhabi. And the claim to being the grandest goes to the Emirates Palace. Get this: it's not only the nicest hotel in Abu Dhabi but it's the most expensive hotel ever built … it cost $3 billion! I guess they one upped Dubai's Burj Al Arab's sail-shaped hotel, which was a cool $1 billion. The 302 guestrooms here go for $1,000 a night and the 92 suites run about $10,000. No matter what, all visitors to Abu Dhabi should go inside to gawk. The Grand Atrium is 60 meters high, 40 meters wide. The place has over one million square feet of marble imported from Italy, Spain, China and India. My neck cramped and my jaw dropped when I looked up to see all the silver and gold glass mosaic tiles on the dome. If that wasn't enough, the hotel even has 1,002 Swarovski crystal chandeliers. Elton John was scheduled to play that night and President Bush had been in town the week before for a conference. Emirates Palace, Tel: 00971 2 690 7150/1 or email concierge.emiratespalace@kempiniski.com.

TIP:
Many hotels also offer up to 50% off their regular rates during Ramadan and are less during the smoking hot summer months.

SAADIYAT ISLAND
Besides saying you've been in the world's most expensive hotel, the main reason to come here is to see firsthand how the city is modeled and how the city is spending $100 billion ... yes, billion ... on infrastructure over the next five years. It's all to attract more vacationers. Saadiyat Island is the biggest project. It's a 670-acre cultural district designed by the world's best-known architects. For instance, Frank Gehry is designing a 323,000-square-foot Guggenheim and Jean Nouvel will create a 258,000 square foot Louvre Museum, the only extension outside of Paris. Zaha Hadid is designing a Performing Arts Centre and Tadao Ando is designing a new maritime museum. It's scheduled to be completed in 2011-'12 at a cost of $27 billion. The other $73 billion will go towards a new stadium, golf courses, hotels, housing and a 650-foot-high translucent tent so residents can play outdoor tennis, take boat rides, or relax at the pavement cafés all year round.



CITY TOUR
Ziad and his driver showed Tonja and me around the city. We learned that Abu Dhabi is a T-shaped island that juts into the Persian Gulf. We drove by malls, the famous cornice and stopped by the western tip of town to see the traditional wooden dhows.

DESERT SAFARI
Ziad asked if I wanted to go on an evening desert safari (cost: 275AED = $75). I didn't ask what it entailed because just the words 'desert safari' sounded good. I conjured up images of camels crossing the barren sunlit dessert and meeting Bedouin tribesman. Unfortunately, dune bashing in a 4x4 slipped my mind. Who the heck invented this form of torture? Our Syrian driver thought he was Kelly Slater, surfing giant waves. I, on the other hand, thought it was a sick joke at first and that I was on some kind of UAE candid camera show. But my new mates (a family from Australia and siblings from Germany) confirmed that this is what they had signed up for. How we didn't roll is beyond me but the driver was outstanding except for the fact he wouldn't let me leave after I got carsick within the first10 minutes. FYI: This was the first time I ever remember getting carsick.

GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Five minutes of this might have been fun but an hour? I don't think so. I tried to pay the Syrian driver to get someone to pick me up or drop me off so I could hail a taxi but he said we were 30 minutes outside of the city and there was nowhere to go. I was trapped and everybody had to wear seatbelts and keep the windows closed. The worst part: I was the last person to be picked up in the six-seater Pathfinder. I didn't know that Pathfinders had six seats until I got stuck in the little person's seat way in the back. In the States, this is the area where our animals typically happily roam. But there I was, hunched over with my feet sideways on top of a stranger who happened to be the second biggest guy in the van. Why he didn't switch places with his nine-year-old daughter (sitting in front of me) was beyond me ...

From the moment I jumped in, I knew it was a bad idea. After I offered the girl $10, she kindly switched seats with me but it was too late. The damage had been done. When our driver finally stopped to let some more air out of the tires, I jumped out and said, "I'm leaving." He said I couldn't because of insurance reasons and that I would never make it back, anyways. I begged him again to call someone and I offered him all the money in my pocket but he wasn't biting -- though I could see he was tempted. He said he would take it easy but when we got back in the car, he gave me a crazy smirk and floored it towards the tallest of the dunes. I think he was getting a little revenge for some of George Bush's foreign affairs policies. Why didn't I say I was from Canada?

ABU DHABI DOO!
Fortunately, after round five, three others began feeling nauseous too (I'm actually starting to feel it again just writing about it), so he let us out while he drove like a maniac up and down the hills while we watched. It was really cool to watch but not a fun to experience (unless you like those sick amusement park rides). The sun finally began to set and there were just 10 more minutes of car torture before we reached a camel farm.

DESERT BBQ
After a brief stop, we drove another 10 minutes to the camp, which could hold a lot of guests but it must have been a slow night – it was just us. It was quite chilly out (I'm glad I brought my sweater) and the BBQ under the indigo moonlit sky, was really worth the whole experience ... just make sure you get the front seat. The pictures don't do it justice but the stars and moon were just incredible. Before dinner, a Bedouin tribesman who lives at the camp (he didn't speak English) took us for a token, 100-yard camel ride. It was short and sweet and after the tasty dinner, everyone had the opportunity to smoke some of his apple tobacco out of a hookah pipe. There are a variety of safaris available (I hear they are better in Dubai) but this one was from 4pm to 8:30pm.

VIDEO
Here's a four-minute Johnny Jet video of my trip to Abu Dhabi including desert safari. We also have all the Johnny Jet videos ever made on YouTube.

NEXT WEEK
Next week, we travel to Asia's most exciting country. I'll give you a hint: It's the tuk-tuk capital of the world!

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Note: This trip was sponsored in part by Shangri-La Hotel and Abu Dhabi Tourism Authority.



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