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MAXJET LOUNGE
There was no line at the MAXjet counter and the agent was friendly. He gave me (and all of the other passengers) a fast-track pass for security and the lounge. This saved me from waiting in a long queue at security. With all of England's tight security measures, I was surprised that they didn't make passengers take off their shoes for screening. The free lounge offers a bright, comfortable hideout from the drab gate area. On top of that, they provide lots of free food and drink. It had everything you could want (including free Internet) but no bathrooms ... they are located down the hall. BTW: The duty-free area in the main hall offers a wide variety of shopping but once you get to your gate area (which requires a tram-ride) it's very lame. There are just two dirty stores so be sure to do your shopping before you go to your gate.

FLYING MAXJET
I wrote about MAXjet in full detail a few weeks back (here's the link), so I won't go into further detail. Because MAXjet only has four planes, they tend to be late and not surprisingly, ours was delayed by an hour. No one seemed to mind (credit the plush lounge) but the MAXjet folks didn't do a great job informing people. Instead, they just kept telling us we'd be boarding shortly even though they knew we wouldn't be since the plane had just landed and needed to be cleaned. Had they been upfront about the wait time, I would have ridden the tram back to the main terminal to spend my leftover pounds.

The 767 plane looked newer than the one I had come out on. While using the lavatory, I discovered that Turkish Airlines had previously operated this plane. The bathroom door gave it away ... it had Arabic writing. What's interesting is that the vacant sign was highlighted in red so I stood there for 15 minutes thinking it was occupied. Weird how we are trained by colors. Just like the flight over, the flight attendants were very friendly and even let me use the outlet in the back of the plane to charge my computer. I wish the seats had power ports.



INTRODUCING: THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN
Only 59 of the plane's 89 seats were taken so I was able to move around at will. I first sat across from one of the world's strongest men, Terry Hollands. The man is a monster. He's 6'6" and 400 lbs! He barely fit in the business class seat. His arm was seriously bigger than my thigh and I'm not scrawny! He turned out to be a nice, quiet, shy chap but his feet smelled really bad. If he reads this, I'm going to get a royal ass whooping! I tried to spray some cologne on his bare feet but the man didn't sleep and every time I bent over to accomplish my mission (slyly pretending to tie my shoes) he would look at me. His feet were monsters too and I'm sure that to wash those big dawgs thoroughly, he'd have to run them through a car wash. Mission failed, I grabbed my belongings and went to the back of the plane. After the smooth 11-hour flight, I did approach him and wish him luck for the Anaheim world championship competition.

I also told him in an excited tone that this was the one time I wish we had a terrorist on the plane, because between us, we'd have kicked some serious ass! He looked at my with a blank stare and there was an awkward silence, my joke going over like a lead balloon. So I backtracked and said, "OK, YOU would have kicked some serious ass and I would have really enjoyed watching you tear the cowardly bastard apart." He cracked a smile and chuckled, giving me a high-five with his bear-sized paw. Ouch. Even that hurt.

AIR FRANCE LOST LUGGAGE
Update: A couple months ago, I complained that Air France lost my luggage for two days and that the 100-euro allowance they coughed up didn't come close to covering my expenses for clothes in Cannes. Well, I sent Air France a letter with my receipts (I photocopied everything before sending them), itemizing my $437-worth of expenses and to my surprise, I received a check for the full amount! Kudos to Air France. I love that airline!

CAMERA
And speaking of getting money back: Do you remember my Best Buy tirade? I admit, I was on a roll, ranting about their sub-par customer service and their refusal to fix my Panasonic Lumix FX01 wide-angle camera. Well, I'm pretty tenacious. I didn't give up and sent letters to both the Best Buy and Panasonic corporate offices. Guess what? They both made good, too. Panasonic contacted me immediately and agreed to fix my camera. Best Buy agreed to refund my money. When it rains, it pours.

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