Where's Johnny Jet? Making His Way from St. Kitts to South Africa

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Goeie More from South Africa. Can you believe that I finally set foot on the soil of one of my all-time dream destinations? Getting here was an adventure in itself but traveling business class on South African Airlines made the long flight easy. If you're up for accruing some serious frequent flier miles (our travels take us from St. Kitts to Miami to Los Angeles to New York to Dakar and then on to Johannesburg), then log on.

St. Kitts to Miami to Delray Beach

Last week we left off on the island of St. Kitts. Instead of flying directly back home to L.A., I spent a couple of days with my sister, niece and nephew in Delray Beach, Florida. I needed to pass through Miami International anyway so it was a great opportunity to spend some time with them. Delray Beach is 55 miles north of Miami so I decided my best option would be taking the Tri-Rail. Since it was a Sunday, the one-way fare cost only $4 (normally it's $5) and I didn't have to deal with driving or spending $150 on a taxi. But when I arrived at the station (a free five-minute shuttle bus ride) I learned that on Sundays, they don't operate on the usual weekday hourly schedule. So I ended up killing two hours by walking across the busy street to the Wyndham Miami Airport Hotel to get some din din and catching some Sunday night football. I was surprised by how chic the hotel lobby was and my Buffalo spicy chicken sandwich ($10) in their modern restaurant hit the spot before the 69-minute train ride to Delray.

Security at LAX

Because of Sunday's nor'easter, I was forced to travel to JFK a day early. I arrived at LAX an hour before departure and it was still 10 minutes too early. To be able to travel like this it's essential to travel with only carry-on and to print your boarding pass at home. Because I have elite status with Delta, I was able to go through the Medallion Only security line. I thought it was weird there was no agent checking identification, but I was in a hurry so I kept on moving. It wasn't very comforting until the TSA agent on the other side of the security screening checkpoint (which I had just gone through with my two bags, shoes, jacket and everything out of my pockets in separate bins) said, "Where's your TSA stamp?" What TSA stamp? At LAX Terminals 1 through 6 require the agents at the first checkpoint to stamp and initial boarding passes. But they don't at Terminal 7. Why are there so many inconsistencies with the TSA? When I replied that I hadn't been given a stamp, I was told that I would have to go back downstairs with all my stuff to get one. I thought that was insane and pleaded that it wasn't my fault. When she wouldn't budge, I politely asked to speak with her supervisor who was nearby. Fortunately, she was understanding and took my pass and ID to get it stamped while I waited with my bags. If I hadn't been polite, my arse would've been in the back of the line.

Delta Rocks

I was flying to JFK in one of Delta's new interior planes with the entertainment systems in the back of each seat. My buddy Brett from CrankyFlier.com taught me that the way you can tell if a Delta plane has these before you book your ticket is to pull up the seat maps on Delta.com. If coach seating begins at row 20 and ends at row 45, you're on an old interior plane. If coach goes from row 18 to row 44, you're on a new interior plane. You definitely want to get on these planes because the entertainment selection is awesome. They have 24 channels of live satellite TV, movies, HBO, 2,500 MP3s and games -- all on demand and uncensored. Not only that, but the seats in business have power ports!

LAX to JFK

As an added bonus I got upgraded. Don't you love Delta for giving its frequent fliers free upgrades? I sat right in front of Reverend Run (Run DMC) and his family. When I got on the plane I said, "What's up, Run?" like we were best friends. He looked me over for a moment, then extended his hand and smiled. Flight time was four hours and 45 minutes and after takeoff, business class passengers were given the option between a sausage omelet with fresh fruit or, for the healthy people (or the suckers in the last row), fresh fruit and yogurt. In coach (on the west coast flights to and from New York), the Buy On-Board program has been reinstated. Depending on the time of day, passengers can now purchase (using cash or credit) sandwiches and salads developed by celebrity chef Todd English. As we reached the middle of the country, those of us on the other side of the curtain were offered the usual snacks; Sun Chips, Biscoff cookies, crackers and peanuts. Just before touchdown, small boxes of Godiva chocolates were handed out.

People Movers

As you can see, Delta does a lot of things right but what I don't understand is what's up with their jetways at JFK? Twice in the past two weeks (at two separate gates), they've claimed that the jetways weren't working and brought passengers to and from the terminal using the People Movers that are common at Dulles.

Car Service to the City

As soon as we landed (on time) I called 212/777-7777. The Dial 7 car service, a clean, comfy Town Car, rolled up seven minutes later. What's great is that it cost the same amount as a taxi ($45 without tip or toll) and you don't need to wait in line. TIP: If the operator asks if you want to pay extra for a luxury car, say no. Chances are you will still get the same car I did. The other inexpensive car service that you can take to the city is Carmel.

The Alex Hotel

For the first time since my cousin AJ's wedding in 2003, I stayed in a New York City hotel room. I was in town this week to do radio interviews for AXE about the best and worst airports in which to make a love connection. Can you believe that I did 18 interviews in one day ? including Maxim Radio twice?) They put me up at the swanky, four-year-old Alex Hotel. It's located in Midtown Manhattan at 45th between Second and Third Avenues. It's centrally located and is just three blocks from Grand Central Terminal. The hotel has 203 guest rooms, suites and apartments designed by David Rockwell and feature custom furnishings. For $480 night (that's what the room rates begin at), guests get free broadband Internet and two flat screen LCD TVs. One is tiny and hangs in the small bathroom at an angle that makes it utterly useless unless you're 8 feet tall and sitting on the pot. But the 26-inch TV in the bedroom makes up for it as it's connected to a DVD and CD stereo system. It's so nice that I woke up to my neighbors in the room above me enjoying it as well. FYI: Hallway traffic is another noise problem. But more importantly, the beds are comfy with Frette linens and I got lost, swimming in the six pillows. The bathroom is clean with a limestone bath, a rain showerhead and Frederic Fekkai toiletries. No wonder so many celebrities stay here; I saw Harry Connick Jr. and Renee Zellweger.

Ringo in the Alex

The mini bar is stocked with gourmet goods from Dean & DeLuca. Woohoo. But you won't be so excited when you read the pricelist; a small pack of nuts will set you back $12. Or how about some $8 Gummi Bears? I don't think so. What's also a rip is the Alex's Ringo Restaurant, adjacent to the lobby. Can you believe that a small glass (and I'm talking teacup-sized) of semi-fresh-squeezed OJ is $5? I figured refills were free (like they are at Norma's) so you should've seen my face when they brought the bill. Next time, I won't keep signaling the slow waitress to bring me the goods. Other than that, my $9 oatmeal was good. The Alex Hotel, 205 East 45th Street, New York, NY; tel. 212/867-5100.

Big Daddy's

I forgot to mention that my allergies started acting up on the plane so when I landed, I wasn't feeling all that spiffy. I called my cousin AJ and he was in the same boat. We both agreed that instead of spending a night out on the town, we would go to the first diner that looked decent. Big Daddy's Diner was bright, colorful and busy ... always a good sign. We were seated right away and on the walls above us were countless pictures of cast members from every TV show we had grown up watching. Each table also had a handful of Trivial Pursuit cards from the original game. So we broke them out and challenged each other between coughs. It was hilarious. We just kept laughing, saying, "Are we that dumb?" The wait staff was young, alert and our soups hit the spot. But my banana oat bran pancakes were truly the worst pancakes I have ever had. I told the waitress, assuming she'd take them off the bill since there were only two small bites eaten. (One of those bites was AJ's; I had pretended they were the most delicious pancakes and he took the bait immediately, then spit it out!) The clueless girl didn't take the dish off the bill but instead of stiffing her on the tip, I just won't be a returning customer. Big Daddy's, 239 Park Ave South (Between 19th & 20th) tel. 212/477-1500.

Les Halles

I can't just tell you about a sub-par eatery so let's step it up a notch and walk up the street to 28th and Park. At Les Halles you'll find a typical Parisian brasserie that's packed with young, mostly good-looking people. The last time I ate here was about 15 years ago with my sister when they had first opened but it wasn't that crowded back then. This time, we had a 9pm reservation and we still had to wait 30 minutes to be seated. I figured it was bustling because Chef-at-Large Anthony Bourdain (host of The Travel Channel's No Reservations) owned the place but our waitress informed us he just worked there six years ago, made a cookbook about the eatery and while he shoots some of his TV segments there, that's about it. It's amazing what some good marketing and food will do. Either way, my friends and I were still impressed with the food and the speed with which it came out. We figured that since we'd waited so long for our table, our food would take a long time to come, too. But that wasn't the case. My classic French onion soup ($8.25) and Filet de Boeuf ($26.50) and warm chocolate banana tart ($8.25) came out lickety-split and I licked the plate clean. Les Halles Park Avenue, 411 Park Avenue South (between 28th & 29th), New York, NY; tel. 212/679-4111.

Fear: The Worst Four-Letter Word

To say that I was excited to be going to South Africa would be an enormous understatement. It's been a lifelong dream of mine, but a few days before the trip a not-so-funny thing happened. I started to get nervous about the trip. I know, I know. How or why would someone who has literally traveled the world, get nervous about going to South Africa? Well, I grew up with a lot of fears and none greater than not being able to breathe from asthma attacks that usually gripped me during this time of year (November and December). Those effects still freak me out on occasion, particularly when I'm visiting a country for the very first time.

Mini Pharmacy

My biggest fear, besides digesting the fact that my doctor had suggested I get a hepatitis shot and take malaria and typhoid pills, was what if something in the South African air triggered my disease? And if it did happen while I was out in the bush, what would I do? Those of you who have subscribed to Johnny Jet's Travel News for a while are probably thinking, "But weren't you cured of asthma by a Chinese doctor in Malaysia last year?" (Here's the link to that story.) I was indeed cured and since then, the only asthma medication I've taken is my inhaler, maybe three times. Prior to that, I was hitting my puffer at least four times a day. But to me, the name Africa alone conjures up images of danger; it seems so far and remote. Yes, I was in Morocco about a year ago, which is obviously North Africa, but it's not the same as South Africa. It's completely different and not even in the same hemisphere. The good news is that I was able to suck it up and one way was by getting my doctor to help prescribe me a mini-pharmacy to combat anything that may have come my way.

Air Train

My next battle was getting to JFK. Traffic is unpredictable and getting there during peak times is not easy (unless you take a helicopter) ... especially when there's a parade, marathon or a head of state in town. Fortunately, I had read in the morning paper that there were going to be road closures so I knew my best bet was to go underground. I ended up taking the subway to the E-train to the Air Train. I'm glad I did because it took less than an hour to travel door-to-door and cost just $7. NOTE: The key is to pack light because you'll need to walk a few blocks (all underground or covered roof) and up stairs, escalators and elevators. Here's a step-by-step description of the last time I did it from Grand Central Terminal.

South African Airways

South African Airways (SAA) departs out of Terminal 4. Although JFK is one of my least favorite airports (what crackhead designed it?), the new Terminal 4 is one of my favorite terminals. It's bright, modern, has high ceilings, plenty of shops, restaurants and plenty of other amenities. When I arrived at the SAA desk two hours before departure, I was stoked to see that there was no wait in either the coach or business class lines. The agent behind the counter was friendly and stunned when I told her I had no bags to check. "Are you serious?" she asked. "Did you send your bags ahead of time?" Nope. I just pack light and went on to tell her exactly what I had packed: seven pairs of underwear and socks, three pairs of shorts, three t-shirts, two button-down shirts, a pair of dress pants and shoes, a rain and dinner jacket, two hats, sunscreen and bug repellent ... all for my two week trip. She was not as impressed as you might think and asked why I had only packed seven pairs of underwear. I assured her that I would get laundry done halfway through my trip. And I told her not to forget about what I was already wearing ... jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, sweatshirt and sneakers. Believe it or not, I still over-packed.

SAA Lounge

I was really lucky to be flying in South African Airways' Premium Class (business class). They only have two classes on this route: Economy and Premium. I was handed my boarding card and a pass to the lounge. The lounge is shared by a variety of airlines so it was busy but not packed. Like all airline lounges, it was a welcoming oasis from the crowded gate areas and inside were the usual snacks and an open bar. Several computers were available for use, all with free Internet, though I'm not sure if they had free wireless, too. Plus, they offered an all-day menu with free food. The choices were salmon and cream cheese bagel; olives, humus and grilled pita; seasonal soup; fresh fruit salad; or a selection of cheeses. I wasn't even hungry but who can pass up a free bowl of hot pumpkin soup? Not this fellow.

Security

When they called the flight it meant it was time to go through security. Yes, the lounges in Terminal 4 are before the checkpoint. Sometimes the first/business class lines aren't always the quickest. I noticed a flock of flight attendants walking towards the checkpoint and I had a feeling they were going to choose the Premium line. They get to cut the line so I jumped into the longer economy line and sure enough, I ended up breezing past all the stuffy first-class passengers who were in front of me. Bunch of suckers, eh?

Boarding

SAA flies the Airbus A340-300 on this route to Johannesburg, via Dakar, which is the same aircraft I flew on when I was on the inaugural flight of the world's longest commercial flight. Once I got on the plane, most of my fear melted away, quickly turning into excitement. And I got even more excited when the captain announced that the flight time to Dakar was just seven hours. Seven hours? That's it? I thought it was going to be at least eight. Who knew Africa was so close?

SAA'S Website

Before I go into a detailed review of my flight, I must start by saying that SAA must have one of the worst airline websites in the industry. It's slow and difficult to navigate. Check it out for yourself (FlySAA.com). See if you can tell what time flight 204 is due to land. Visitors should be able to find this information in less than 10 seconds; I bet you can't.

Business Class Seats

Luckily, SAA's actual service is much better than that on its website. I was seated in seat 15A, a bulkhead window seat. I thought it would be a good choice since no other seat could impinge on my legroom. But that wasn't the case. You see, SAA has the new shell seats that don't impose on anybody's space. Instead of reclining back, they slide down and these seats are plush. They have a 73" pitch and are 24" wide. The best part is that they go completely flat and I mean a full 180 degrees. This is key for someone like me who has difficulty sleeping on planes. More good news? The seats are configured in a 2x2x2 configuration so there's no getting stuck in a middle seat.

The seats are so comfortable they are almost like those expensive recliners you find yourself lounging in at Brookstone stores in the mall. These too have a lumbar massage rolling up. They also have three automatic settings to make for quick positioning: upright, cradle or bed. There's a privacy screen to shut out your seatmate but mine was cool so I didn't need to pull that bad boy up. If you can't sleep and are worried about disturbing others, don't stress. Seats have a personal snake reading light. But when they aren't in use, they do get a little annoying, as they don't sit flush with the seat.

Each business class seat has a 10.4-inch personal video screen; in coach they offer the entertainment systems too. The choices for on-demand movies are extensive but not all were available. I didn't care. I actually didn't even watch a single one. Instead, I stared at the live map in awe of the places I was about to be traveling over for the very first time while I worked on my laptop. Yup, seats have a 110-volt AC power port that doesn't require any special adaptors.

The flight attendants (FAs) for the most part were friendly and during the food and drink service, they were attentive. But in between, they were virtually nonexistent. Before takeoff, they came around with U.S. and S.A. newspapers and drinks. But I got really ticked off when, without warning, they came strolling down the aisles with aerosol cans of some Febreeze-like spray and started polluting the air. I barely had enough time to cover my nose and mouth. There was no announcement so I have no idea what it was or if it was harmful for someone with asthma. I imagine it was some kind of insect repellent that the South African government mandates, but who knows. Another thing the FAs did was unofficially declare my foot space (for 40 minutes!) the designated holding area for three bags filled with cheap headsets. I'm not sure why they left them there or why, given the superior product that they have in business class, they would hand these out. They should be using Bose noise-canceling headsets.

Take-Off

Maybe the pilot was pressing the wrong button on the PA system but he didn't update us at all on our 45-minute delay at the gate. We had no idea what was going on or how long it would be. But he made up the time when we did finally get those wheels rolling. Would you believe that at 6pm at JFK we took off within 10 minutes? Now that's newsworthy. It was exciting to see the lights of NYC glimmering against the night sky, but even more exciting was to think about all that was in store for me on the other side of the ocean.

Food

Immediately following takeoff, the FAs handed out toiletry kits and hot towels and rolled out the drink and food cart. The FA serving us was a bit of a rookie; my seatmate asked for a South African beer and she handed him a Heineken. She insisted it was South African but when he refused it, she gave him a Windhoek. The food was served quickly, which was a good thing because I was starving and ready to get some shuteye. For our appetizer, we had shrimp over tomatoes and avocado, followed by a salad with balsamic dressing. For my entree, I chose an authentic Cape Malay dish: curry chicken. They were all quite tasty and the fattening tiramisu dessert was even better.

Sleep Time

When I pressed the bed mode and kicked off my shoes to go to sleep, I was absolutely chilling. The large pillow and soft duvet were the most comfortable I have ever had on a plane. No wonder the flight attendants collect them before landing. I fell asleep staring out the window, amazed at where I was headed, soaking in the view of the bright stars illuminating the black sky.

Dakar, Senegal

Although I had heard a bunch of travelers to South Africa complain about how greatly they disliked stopping in Dakar to refuel because it breaks up sleep patterns, I was still stoked. It was a chance for me to catch a glimpse (albeit brief) of another country. So while most everyone pouted when the announcement was made 27 minutes out, to put their seats in the upright position and the cabin lights were illuminated, I had my eyes wide open and my camera ready. We landed around 6:30am local time and it was dark but in the minutes it took to taxi to the gate, the sky brightened visibly.

Parked next to us was a Delta plane doing the same route as us, except that it had originated in Atlanta. I was surprised to see how many passengers got off the plane. I thought it would just be to refuel but clearly it's not. Passengers who were headed to Johannesburg were told to stay on the plane. A cleaning crew came on, followed by a new flight crew and more passengers. I wanted so badly to get off and at least touch the ground but I wasn't allowed. However, I was able to talk one of the FAs into letting me go out on the gangway so I could feel the warm morning Senegal air and pose for a cheesy picture.

FYI: My Blackberry didn't work so I couldn't check emails, make phone calls or find out the score of the football game.

Breakfast Over Africa

We were in Dakar for an hour and on takeoff, I watched kids play soccer in a field nearby and gawked at the Senegal architecture. It was too cool. From Dakar to Johannesburg is eight hours, which really isn't too bad. The first round of drinks consisted of a choice of smoothies or orange juice and a fruit plate with yogurt or cereal followed immediately. Then came scrambled eggs with turkey and a cooked tomato. The eggs were light and creamy and were seriously the best eggs I have ever had on a plane.

Dakar to Johannesburg

As we flew down the coast of Africa, our new pilot "strongly suggested" that we set our watches to South African time, which was 10am, so we could adjust to the new time zone. But then he ordered the FAs to shut the blinds so everyone could get some sleep. Huh? How is that adjusting to local time? Everyone followed his instructions. Not me. ONE: I was too excited to sleep and TWO: I didn't want to not be able to sleep a few hours after we arrived at 6pm. It was so memorable to watch the in-flight map and see where we were flying and then look out the window and view, from 37,000 feet up, what the countries below looked like. Especially faraway places like Guinea-Bissau. After some work on my laptop and another hot meal service, we were finally in South African airspace. My excitement escalated as I heard the landing gear being let down and the flight attendants making their last run through the cabin.

Johnny Jet has been featured over 1,000 times in major publications, including USA Today, Time, Fortune and The New York Times, and has appeared on ABC, CBS, CNBC, MSNBC, NBC, FOX News Channel, and PBS. JohnnyJet.com has been named "one of the top best money-saving web sites for travel" by Budget Travel Magazine, while the L.A. Times calls it "one of the top 10 essential travel resources on the internet." In the May 2007 issue of Outside Magazine, Johnny Jet was touted for having one of the world's best "dream jobs". Every week Johnny hosts a "travel website of the week" for several radio stations around the country, he writes weekly for Frommers.com and he has written for USAToday, The Boston Herald and Coast Magazine. Sign up today for Johnny Jet's free weekly travel newsletter at www.johnnyjet.com.

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